Come and Get Me Zack Merrick
by TheBeehive
Summary: ZACK MERRICK fanfic
1. Chapter 1

I found myself staring at the clock. Just waiting for him to come out. He seemed okay awhile ago but it seems anger took over once again. This time, I tried my best to stop him but even I couldn't take it anymore. His friends told me that it'd pass but I'm not really sure about that. So here's the situation: His mom just died and he and his mother were really close. His mother was the nicest person I've ever met and I don't know how he and I can live without her.

We were in her house. His dad passed away long before and his mother was the only family he knew. I wanted to be there for him but I guess there's really nothing stronger than a love like theirs. Besides, I was just his friend so what more can I expect? I mean I like him as more than what we are now but I guess not everyone can get what they want. I am one of those people. I try to chase after someone who I know would never chase me in return and honestly, this was what you could call heartbreaking.

After a while, he came out of her bedroom. His brown eyes were surrounded by a sea of red and tears just kept rolling down.

"I'm sorry you have to see me like this, Brooke." Zack said putting his arms around me.

"It's okay Zack, I understand," I said.

And this is how our story started…


	2. Chapter 2

Weeks passed and he started to move on with his life, leaving me alone here waiting for him to come home. We still keep in touch while he's on the road. I try to see if he's with someone new but there's nothing. Maybe he just likes to stay single. Who knows?

He says that he needed to change his ways even though he was already a good person because "no one is good that cannot be better" that was his motto and he has lived with it since the day I met him in elementary. We were best friends or at least we used to be. He and I shared millions of secrets but not anymore now that he has Alex, Jack and Rian to share it with. So I just wait for him to come back and hopefully someday, things will be the same again.

"I'll promise to call you later," Zack said as he climbed on the bus. He went to his bunk and waved goodbye to me through his bunk window. A promise never serves its purpose so I wonder why I waited for him to call me back.

Two years later, I started to stop wasting my time on him and I started to go to work and pay for my own things. I'm already 20 and by now, I should be able to do things my own way.

I worked in a record shop that's usually filled with a lot of people. I'm not sure why I chose to work here but all I know is that it can pay for my rent. As I was filling in the "New Arrival" rack, I noticed an album with a very familiar band name. The album was entitled So Wrong its Right and the artist was named All Time Low. When I looked at the members, that's when I knew exactly why they seemed really familiar. I stacked the rest of the CDs and grabbed a copy of the album.

"Aren't you supposed to be working?" Cassie, the employee behind the counter asked me.

"Yea, but I just wanna get this before the shop closes," I said getting money from my back pocket.

"Okay then," she said scanning the item and receiving my payment.

"Can you please put it in bag for me? It's in the back room," I said and she gave me the receipt.

"Sure, by the way, did you know that their performing here a week from now for their album release whatsoever?" she said and I shook my head.

"Are you serious?" I asked

"That's why you should start listening to the meetings we have every Friday. Since you just doze off and zone out at the back, you'll never know what cool things might happen here." She said going to the back room to put the album in my bag. As she left, I went and roamed around to see the other things I might've missed or overlooked.

As I walked through the different aisles, my phone started ringing in my pocket. Luckily, I placed it on silent. I picked it up as quick and discreetly as I could.

"Hello?" I said. I waited for an answer but the other line just went off. Maybe it was just because of the signal or maybe it was a wrong call. I looked at the number on the call log and searched for the most recent call. The number was unknown to me meaning it must have been a wrong call. I put away my phone and started to roam around once again.

I was looking at the labels as I was walking so I couldn't see exactly where I was going. Because of this, I crashed in to someone walking on the same aisle. I fell to the floor and hit my head on the steel bar. Luckily, I didn't hit it that hard.

"I'm so sorry," I said rubbing the side of my head. My eyes were closed so I couldn't see who exactly I hit.

"No, I'm sorry; here let me help you up." A guy said. I opened my eyes and held the hand he was holding out. He pulled me up.

"Thanks," I said. I examined him head to toe and noticed that he was gorgeous. He had deep blue eyes, hazel brown hair, and the perfect body. That could never compare to my plain green eyes and my sandy blonde hair.

"You seem familiar," he said looking deep in to my eyes.

"Huh? Well I work here in this shop. Do you come here often?" I asked.

"That was sort of a pick up line for "what's your name?"" he said and we both started to laugh.

"Sorry, I'm kinda slow. My name is Brooke, Brooke Rose," I said.

"Nice name. My name's Kevin Stevenson." He said with a grin on his face.

We chatted for a little while and he managed to persuade me in to considering to give him my number so that we could keep in touch so I gladly gave it to him. I had fun with him so why not? I think that maybe this might turn out in to something. I mean I hope it does.


	3. Chapter 3

We talked a little more after that and then he checked the time.

"It's already 1. I completely lost track of time. I'll call you later okay?" he said walking towards the counter and buying the CD that he wanted to buy.

After he left, I noticed that I hadn't taken my lunch yet so I took my break. One thing I like about this job is that we can take a break whenever we wanted to for as long as it will only take an hour.

I left the shop and went around the mall. I went to the nearest coffee shop and made my way to the back of the line. Coincidentally, there was only one person in front of me. I ordered a tuna sandwich and a vanilla frappuccino and grabbed myself a table. I got one beside the window so I wouldn't feel so awkward alone.

I looked outside the window and saw a familiar park down the street. I recognized it because it was where Zack and I used to play. We played almost everything by ourselves. Tag, Hide and Seek, Duck, Duck, Goose and all the other games you could possibly think of. Well that was when we were like 6. When we were 15, we started to go to the park to talk and wait until the sun goes down. We always sat on the swings and told each other a lot of things. But two years after that, we started hanging out less and less. The only way we ever saw each other was when his mother would invite me over for dinner. And because of that, we started to drift apart from each other.

"Excuse me miss, is this seat taken?" A guy asked me wrecking my train of thoughts.

"No," I said.

"Is it okay if I take it?"

"Sure," I said and he got it and took it away. I watched him as he left and saw that he got it for his girl. I observed the rest of the people inside and noticed that they were all in couples. Some seemed to have double dates and some were ever in groups. I tried to hurry up and get out because for some reason, it irritated me. Maybe it was because I was jealous but I wouldn't really know.

The day ended quickly and the week passed by in a blur and I woke up to a brand new day. I did the usual morning routine and went to work. Kevin and I have been talking a lot and we've been dating and well all I can say is that I've never been happier in my life.

When I arrived at work, I noticed something. There were people setting up a stage and a sound system was being arranged.

"What's happening in here?" I asked Cassie as I went to the back and deposited my things.

"Don't you remember?" she said rolling her eyes.

"Oh, that's today?" I said remembering that All Time Low was performing today.

"Yea. A lot of people are already lining outside and waiting for the store to open." She said heading out.

"So should we open now?" I asked Cassie as I followed her out.

"If you want a stampede, yes, otherwise, no." she said sarcastically.

"Are they here already?" I asked.

"I guess so. Try checking there," she said pointing to the door leading to the outside of the mall.

"Fine," I said walking towards the door. When I was about to open it, It started to open by itself. Someone was on the other side. Zack came in first.

"Hey," I said faking a smile.

"Hey! How are you?" he said putting his arms around me.

"I'm okay, you?" I said and we both walked in the store.

"Same, same," he said cheerfully. He seemed really ecstatic. Maybe it was because of the show but I wouldn't really know.

"How long are you gonna be here?" I asked hoping they'd stay longer.

"Well, this is our last stop for the album's release and after this, we're planning to take at least a two month break but maybe we'll be having little shows around town." He said

"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you, I got your album and you guys sound really awesome." I said following him near the stage. The rest of the band was already having the sound check and Zack was still here talking to me.

"Thank you," he said patting my shoulder.

"No prob," I said smiling.

"Well, I guess I have to get ready. I'll talk to you after the show okay?" he said and I nodded. Hopefully this time it was true.

I watched him as he set up with the rest of the band. I saw the line up of the songs and I'll definitely be in the front row when they perform.

"You know Zack Merrick and the rest of All Time Low?" Cassie said from behind me.

"Yea, Zack and I used to be best friends before." I said

"I can't believe you never told me!" she said slapping me softly on the arm.

"Well, you never told me you were a fan," I said

"Whatever, you have to introduce us later but right now, we have to open the store." She said.

We opened up the store and fortunately, there was no stampede and everyone just entered in an orderly manner. I was looking forward to the end of the show and maybe, just maybe, Zack and I can be friends again…


	4. Chapter 4

The first song started and my heart started to pump faster and faster as each song goes by. A lot of girls kept screaming and they all sang to all of their songs. It was very pleasing to hear even though most of the people sang out of tune.

"You guys are awesome!" Alex said after their last song and all the girls kept shrieking and shouting. I just laughed out loud with Cassie because we found it so amusing.

When the band started the signing, Cassie and I were just chatting by the counter and trying to practice the introduction that I was about to make. I know it doesn't really require much practice but we didn't have anything else to do.

"Guess who?" Kevin said covering my eyes from behind. Frankly, I didn't expect him to come today but I'm glad he did anyway.

"Hey," I said and he crashed his lips to mine.

"Wow, I didn't expect that from you Brooke," Zack said laughing. I parted from Kevin and smacked him on the arm.

"What'd I do?" Zack complained.

"You shouldn't assume that, asshole," I said.

"Yea man, she's a really great kisser you know," Kevin said recapturing my attention. I'm not quite sure but I think I started to blush at that moment.

"Well, I wouldn't know," Zack said and he left.

"Excuse me," I told Kevin and I started to chase after Zack.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"Nothing, anyway, we have another show this coming Saturday and it'd be really awesome if you came. You can bring him to if you want." He said pointing at Kevin. He sounded a bit sad. Could it be jealousy or was I just assuming too much?

"Where is it gonna be?" I asked him before he left with the others.

"The beach where we used to hang out. There'll be an after party too. Hope to see you there." He said in a rush. As he turned, I think I saw his eyes well up as if he was about to cry. I've never seen them well up like that before but I guess there are more things that I wouldn't really know about him because, well, we don't talk about a thing anymore.

When he left, I started back to the counter to be with Kevin.

"What was up with him?" he asked as soon as I was in hearing distance.

"Nothing, anyway he invited us to a party this Saturday in the beach." I said and turned towards Cassie who was behind the counter listening to everything I said. But she looked at me in a mean way.

"Did you forget?" She asked.

"Don't worry, I'll have plenty of time to introduce you guys in the party so are we going or not?" I said asking the question to both of them.

"Sure, I'm up for it." Kevin said placing his arm over my shoulder.

"Cassie?" I said hands clasped together in front of me.

"Fine, but make sure you introduce me to Alex first!" she demanded and we all laughed.

For some reason, I wanted to go badly and I just couldn't wait until it was Saturday. Fortunately, it was already Wednesday and I have at least three more days to wait. The thrill was getting bigger every second. I just couldn't wait.


	5. Chapter 5

My alarm clock woke me up at nine in the morning. It really irritated me so I got up and turned it off. I was about to go back to sleep when suddenly, I remembered that it was Saturday. I swiftly went in to the bathroom and tried to make it to work earlier than usual. Yes, I had work today but I asked my boss if he could let me off early and he said that he would for as long as I come an hour earlier than the usual time I come in.

Once I got in the record shop, I quickly showed myself to my boss so he'd know that I came an hour early.

"Well, I wasn't expecting you to come this early," he said.

"But it's already nine," I said and looked at the clock. Then, I noticed that there were only a few people around. Two to be exact so if you add all of us up then you'd get four.

"No actually it's still eight which means you can go earlier than expected." He said.

"So what can I do at this time?" I asked.

"Well, you can help them clean up the store," he said and that made me raise my eyebrows.

"Are you serious?" I asked.

"Well, if you don't want to help clean up then I guess you should get started with the stacking. The CDs are in a box at the back." He said.

"Thanks," I said as I headed towards the back and grabbed what I needed. Cassie came in two hours later and was surprised to see me there early. I told her that I needed to be there early.

"And you didn't tell me about this?" She said shocked.

"I didn't think you'd wanna be early too," I said as I stacked more CDs.

"Are you even using your noggin?" she said.

"Noggin?" I said laughing.

"Whatever," she said and left. She went to talk to our boss and I just shook my head.

As I did my job, my phone started to ring and I put the rest of the CDs in one corner so I could pick it up.

"Hello?" I said.

"Hey," Kevin's voice greeted on the other end.

"Hey," I said smiling. For some reason, hearing his voice brings a smile to my face. No one has ever done that to me. Not even my ex-boyfriend.

"I'm really sorry to say this babe but I'm afraid I can't make it to the party tonight," he said.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Well, I remembered that I told a friend that I'd agree to go to his party tonight."

"Okay then, I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked.

"Okay or maybe I can catch up later tonight if I don't have fun." He said.

"Thanks," I said

"Anything for you," he said and we said our goodbyes.

Cassie persuaded the boss to let her off early like me today and work an extra two hours tomorrow. Talk about desperate. But at least we got to the beach in time.

"Hey!" Zack called out from across the place. The other three were right behind him so I nudged Cassie as I smiled and waved back.

"Guys, I want you to meet my friend, Cassie," I introduced.

"Well hello there," Jack said.

"Hey," Cassie replied.

It was a good thing that we got off work early because we got to change our ugly uniforms for sundresses and tank tops. I wore a tank top and mini board shorts while Cassie was wearing a short yellow sundress that went with her blond hair. We were both wearing slippers and I brought a jacket in the car incase it would be cold at night. I spaced out of the conversation so I excused myself. I started to walk by the sea shore and just reminisce about the times Zack and I spent here on this beach.

"Where's your boyfriend?" Zack asked from behind me.

"He said he couldn't make it because he already made plans." I said stopping to look at the setting sun.

"Well since he's not here then I guess he wouldn't mind me doing this," he said and before I could say anything, his lips crashed on mine. It was the cliché type of kiss really but I didn't care. I never wanted this to end. Not for one second and I guess Zack read my mind because he never let go.

What Kevin couldn't see couldn't hurt him right?


	6. Chapter 6

Zack and I practically spent the whole afternoon together while Cassie and Alex were hitting it off somewhere down the beach. I felt guilty for being here with him even though I knew that Kevin couldn't be here with me tonight. But then a part of me felt like this is really where I was supposed to be. It was as if I knew that what I was doing was really right.

"You okay?" Zack asked me as we sat down on a spot in the sand.

"Yea, I'm fine," I said but knowing Zack, he could already tell I was lying. He then sighed heavily.

"I'm sorry. I should never have done that," he said remorsefully. Was he regretting too?

"No, it's just that…" I said trailing off.

"What? Just what?" he asked.

"Zack, I think… I think I wanna be with you," I said looking at the ground.

"You do?" he asked seeming surprised. I nodded my head and leaned in to him without even knowing it.

We spent a little more time to ourselves then they started the show.

"Hey everyone!" Alex screamed in to the microphone that led everyone to scream back at them. Surprisingly, Cassie joined in the scream too. I looked at her with curious eyes.

"What?" she said and looked back at Alex who was already starting the first song.

"This song is called the beach." Jack said and they started to rock the whole stage.

The whole time they were playing, Cassie was screaming their lyrics and I was zoning out. I still felt bad about the whole Kevin thing and what I told Zack a while back was only half of why I was so down. I've never cheated on anyone before and I'm not sure what I can call what I did with Zack. Was it really cheating or just half of it? I am so confused. I looked around the crowd remembering that Kevin would try to get out of the party early and there I saw him walking down the beach towards me. Or at least I thought he was walking towards me.

"Hey babe, glad you could make it," The girl said or screamed. I turned around and away from him. I held back my tears and waited for the song to end.

After the first song, I just couldn't take it anymore so I ran away from the stage and from anything else. I hid in the little playground far away from the stage where no one could see me. Luckily, kids weren't playing here anymore. It was dark but I made my way past the mini playground and to the little bench where Zack and I used to sit. It was at the eastern end of the beach and no one usually came here because people said that it was haunted or something like that. I cried and cried and reminded myself again and again about how stupid I was. I mean he was too handsome to be single and to think he'd settle for me? Yeah, right, not in a million years.

I think I spent hours in that small hiding place of mine because no music came from the main part of the beach anymore. I started to settle down and just watch the waves crash on the shore. I was too preoccupied to hear anyone coming near me and sitting by my side.

"Why did you run off like that?" Zack asked a bit angry while I just sat there with my chin on top of my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. Zack looked at me closely and stayed right in front of me. He noticed I was crying so he changed his expression to anxious.

"What happened?" he asked and I just shook my head. I guess what goes around comes around right?

"Brooke, please tell me," he said tucking my hair behind my ears. He wiped the tears from my eyes.

I refused to speak. I didn't do anything and all the guilt was building up in me and it made me cry even more. I put both my legs down and noticed that Zack was already kneeling in front of me. At first I thought he was just squatting but I guess not.

"Get up Zack your knees are gonna get-"

"I'm not getting up until you tell me what's wrong," he said cutting me off and putting his hands on my lap.

"Zack please-"

"No," he said.

"He was here. It turns out this was the party he was talking about. When I tried to look around, I saw him and I heard his girl saying that she was glad he made it and she called him babe and there is no doubt that they were really together since you know, they were all lovey dovey and shit like that." I said letting the anger out but fortunately, I was able to keep my voice down.

He didn't say anything more. All he did was sit right beside me. He wrapped his arms around me and he let me cry on his shoulder. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let the tears fall.

"Sorry," he whispered in to my ear.

"You didn't do anything," I said.

"No, actually I knew," he said.

"Knew what?" I asked curiously.

"Knew that he was with someone else but I couldn't tell anyone because he told me not to. You see, he's a close friend of mine and we knew that if we said anything we would wreck his game. I should've told you but…" He said trailing off. I parted from him and looked at him with my stinging eyes. I couldn't believe it. He was on his side all this time? He knew all this time? I thought we told each other everything.

"Why Zack? Why didn't you just tell me?" I asked him.

"I didn't want you to get hurt," he said sadly.

"Well you should've thought of that before you actually did hurt me." I said and I walked away from him.


	7. Chapter 7

I couldn't believe I did that. I just walked away from him. But I guess he deserved it but if I think he did then why the hell am I feeling guilty?

I went back to the party to tell Cassie I was leaving but she was nowhere to be found. I didn't really care if someone saw me with bloodshot eyes. I just wanted to go home and get away from all this. I left Cassie a message and drove home. I just hope Cassie has a ride home and I hope she'll learn to understand why I left her. It was a long trip back home and I kinda wanted to get there fast so I sped up a little too much. My phone startled me as it rang. I couldn't seem to find it so I looked away from the road leaving my foot in the acceleration pedal. I finally found my phone in my bag and noticed that I missed the call. I didn't bother to look who it was from so I just tossed it on the passenger seat beside me. When I looked back at the road, I closed my eyes and screamed as I collided head first with another vehicle. I couldn't stay awake any longer. My arm felt numb and I think my feet hurt like hell and the next thing I knew, my eyes shut and I drifted off to what I thought was an endless sleep.

[ZACK POV]

I looked for Brooke in the parking lot but when I saw that her car was no longer there, I tried to call her. She still wouldn't pick up. I feel like such an asshole. If only I told her and forgot about what would've happened if I didn't, this would never have happened. I sat on the bar and started drinking but for some reason, I didn't drink too much. I just kept thinking about her a lot. But my thoughts were ruined when suddenly my phone was ringing. I got it and answered without caring about who was on the other line.

"Hello?" I said as I answered.

"Is this Zack Merrick?" The person on the other line asked. I wondered if it were another fan girl who mysteriously got my number. I hate it when that happens.

"Yea and this is?" I said annoyed.

"This is Lia. I'm calling from the Maryland General Hospital." She said.

"What's this about?" I asked with so much curiosity.

"This concerns a patient named Brooke Rose. She got into an accident just about a few minutes ago and you were the only one we could contact." Lia said. Fear ran through my veins and my head started to spin.

"I-is she okay?" I said afraid.

"We're not so certain yet but if you would like to visit her, she will be in room 346." She said and I ended the call. I ran to my car and revved up the engine. I drove to hospital as fast as I could. Once I got there, I ran inside and went straight to room 346. When I reached the room, she wasn't inside so I asked the doctor that passed me.

"Excuse me but do you know where the patient in this room is?" I pleaded.

"Oh, um, the other doctors just took her in for surgery." The doctor said looking at his clipboard.

"Just now? Are you one of the doctors?" I said not really waiting for an answer

"Yes and yes," the doctor said.

"Is she gonna be okay?" I asked hastily.

"Right now, she seems fine," the doctor said and he went on his way. I waited in the waiting room as tears rolled down my face. I couldn't stand to lose her knowing that this was all my fault. This can't really be happening.

Hours passed and I waited for her. In front of me was the emergency room where doctors were currently operating on her. I started to hold back the tears and I started to pray that everything would turn out okay and we'd make up and start all over. If only…


	8. Chapter 8

[BROOKE'S POV]

I think I may have overslept and my body feels numb. I couldn't seem to feel my arms but my legs held so much pain. I tried to remember everything that happened last night but all I could remember was crashing into another car in the middle of the road. I wondered if I was dead or not but I ended up opening my eyes to what looked like a room in a hospital. I looked down to see that my right arm was in a cast and that I was wearing that garment patients wore in a hospital which meant that I really was in a hospital. The window was gleaming with a bright light which meant that it was day. I tried to sit up straight but I couldn't move the body. Was I paralyzed? I asked myself but it wasn't long until the nurse came in to check up on me.

"So how are you feeling?" she asked as she looked through her clipboard and watched the little monitor.

"Numb," I managed to get out.

"Oh, don't worry, that's just the anesthesia." She said and I sighed in relief.

"Is my arm broken or something?" I asked.

"The bone inside got broken so the doctors had to cement it. Does anyone in your family have a case of hemophilia?" she asked.

"Not that I know of," I said.

"Well, from what I've heard, you're a lucky one. You almost bled to death in there," the nurse said.

"Then how did I survive?" I asked rather inquisitively.

"Turns out that you and your friend had the same blood type." She said and walked out of the room before I could ask her who donated the blood.

I kept wondering and wondering and as time passed by, my body started to feel a little less numb. I looked at the clock and noticed that it was already 10 in the morning. I reached for the phone that was on the side table and dialed my boss's phone number to tell him why I'm not working today.

"Hello?" My boss answered from the other line.

"Hey Mr. Anderson," I said.

"Brooke?" he sounded surprised.

"Sorry I couldn't tell you that I couldn't work today, I'm kinda in the hospital right now." I said

"Oh, say no more. Just tell me when you can get back." He said

"Okay, bye," I said and we both put down the phone. I wonder why he wasn't angry at me this time.

I was starting to get hungry and my stomach started grumbling loudly. I wanted to get up but my legs hurt too much. So I just lay there hungry and wanting to get out. Just then, someone came in the room. I looked at the door to see who it was.

"Brooke?" Zack said running in and placing the plastic he was bringing to the couch at the side. While he made his way over to me, I just stared at him remembering why I resented him so much.

"Are you okay?" he said as he embraced me.

"Were you the one who donated the blood?" I asked kinda angry but hopeful at the same time.

"Uh, yea," he said letting go. After that moment, somehow, tears started streaming endlessly down my face. I wanted to get up badly but I couldn't so I just wiped my hands with my free hand as I tried to get up.

"Hey, don't strain yourself," Zack said holding me back.

"I wanna get up," I said. I think I was shouting but right now I hardly gave a damn.

"Brooke, please, listen to me," he said holding me as I tried to get out of his grip. For some reason, I just wanted to get up and hug him but if I did then why am I squirming just to get his hold off me.

"Zack, please help me up." I said with an ocean of tears surrounding my eyes.

"Wait here, I'll be right back." Zack said and he quickly ran out of the room. I felt very uneasy. Was it still because of the anesthesia or was there something wrong with my head because I felt really angry right now and my legs throbbed with so much pain which I guess got me irritated. Finally, I screamed my lungs out and that reeled the nurse in.

"Is everything okay?" she asked and I started to reach for my legs.

"My legs, they hurt like hell!" I said screaming again and she pushed me down and called the doctors and then the nurse did a certain procedure which made the pain go away but at the same time, blacked me out.

I hoped for all this pain to end, I wanted to live my life normally without all this hospital shit. I can't take this anymore. And Zack, why did I do that right in front of him? It seems as if I lost myself but am I right to blame my condition? Is it the only excuse? My emotions are mixed and somehow, death seems near…


	9. Chapter 9

I suddenly heard a beeping sound and my eyes started to open. But I wasn't in a hospital. I was at the edge of a building looking down at the road. I was so high up and it seemed like a long way down. But I wasn't standing up. I was lying on my bed and I was strapped on with all sorts of belt. I looked around to see if anyone can bring me back to the hospital but instead, I saw Kevin behind the hospital bed threatening to push me down. His eyes were filled with so much anger and he held something that seemed like a cutter. He cut off the blood supply and pushed me off the edge. The wind was blowing my hair as I was going to crash on the concrete. Just a few inches more and I'd hit the ground. I wanted to scream but I couldn't. I wanted to find away to unlock myself from the belts that held me but there was no way out. I squirmed and screamed as I tried to get out and then I jumped up.

I gave myself a reality check. I was still in the hospital. I breathe heavily in and out and sighed in so much relief.

I saw Zack lying on the couch asleep. It was already night and somehow, I didn't feel like going back to sleep. I couldn't feel my legs one bit as I sat up and the nurse came in again.

"So, any pain?" she asked terrified. I guess my panic attack just a while ago scared her.

"Just numbness," I said staring at her clipboard. It had initials on it and it was wrapped around with a heart.

"You shouldn't strain yourself anymore. You tore a muscle trying to get up," she said and I felt kinda shocked.

"What's wrong with me anyway?" I asked the nurse.

"Nothing actually, you just keep doing what you're not supposed to." She said looking at the heart monitor.

"Then what's with the mixed emotions?" I asked.

"Oh, that's nothing just a side effect from the drugs they placed on you," she said and I just nodded.

"What time is it?" I asked her.

"It's about ten in the evening." She said and left. I hate it when people just leave like that.

I stared at the ceiling for a while and wondered about what would happen if ended up amputated. I didn't want them to cut off my legs so I guess all I can do is lie here until it's all over. All my thoughts came rushing in to my head as stared intently in to space. I thought about what I should say to Zack, if I should apologize to him and if I should just forgive him and move on happily with him. I tried to think about my dream and I was afraid to sleep again for fear that it might come back and haunt me. I checked my phone with my free hand and saw that I had a ton of missed calls. There were some from my parents, some from Cassie and the one that caused all this, Zack.

"Hey," Zack said capturing my attention.

"Zack, I'm sorry," I said and he stood up and sat beside my bed.

"You don't have to apologize to me. If anyone has to apologize for all this, it would be me so I'm sorry," he said grabbing my free hand. He held it rather tightly and gripped it and applied a little bit of pressure.

"Fine then, thank you," I said remembering the whole issue about blood.

"The blood thing wasn't really my idea." He said and that surprised me.

"Then who's was it?" I asked inquisitively.

"The doctor's obviously," he said and I rolled my eyes and gave out a small chuckle. He stared at me while I smiled and for a second there, it felt kinda weird.

"What?" I said.

"Nothing, it's just that I missed that smile on your face," he said stroking it with his fingers and suddenly his expression changed. He leaned in and kissed me. And I kissed him back.

This time I wasn't afraid to kiss him anymore. Nothing could stop me now not even Kevin. With Zack, I feel a lot safer. I feel better and it's as if I'm in better care when I'm with him. Being in this hospital gave me the opportunity to forgive him and maybe this was a good thing. It might lead someplace I've never been in before. I cherished every last bit of this moment as I felt his lips on mine. Savoring every minute with him and knowing that there is still so much ahead of us.


	10. Chapter 10

A week later, I was out of the hospital healthy and ready to work. I woke up early that morning to the sound of my alarm clock and started my morning routine. I checked my phone to see that someone had left me a message. It was Zack saying: "hey, good morning. I just wanted to know if you were free tonight." I smiled at this and replied to him saying: "yea. I'm just on my way to work but I'll be free later," and with that, I climbed in my car and drove to the mall.

I took a lot of precaution while I was driving. One of them was not to mind my phone because I did not want a repeat of what happened the last time I did that. Once I arrived at work, I punched in and left my bag in my locker. I placed my phone in my pocket and looked for my boss. I forgot to call him after I was out of the hospital so I took time to look for him so that I could explain my absence.

"Ms. Rose, I'm glad you're back," Mr. Anderson said patting my shoulder.

"I'm really sorry that I-"

"Oh, there is no need for explanation. Cassie explained everything. I completely understand," he said and went away. I'm guessing he was going back to his office.

I looked for Cassie but as usual, she was running late so I grabbed a stack of CDs and again started placing them on their proper racks. Cassie came in with what looked like Alex Gaskarth and the rest of the band. But Zack wasn't there.

"Brooke!" she screeched drawing some attention.

"Hey," I whispered as everybody turned back to do what they were doing.

"You're alive," she said squeezing me.

"And you're buzzed," I said trying to get out of her grasp as she stumbled to the ground.

"Yea well she had a few shots," Alex said picking her up.

"How many exactly?" I asked just to be sure.

"How many was that Jack?" Alex asked turning to Jack as he cradled Cassie into his arms.

"Probably 6 or 7," Jack said.

"I'll just tell Mr. Anderson that she's sick today then," I said.

"No, I wanna work. Put me down!" Cassie said but then ended up sleeping.

"Yea, maybe that'd be a good thing," Alex said.

"But that's not why we came here," Rian said.

"Okay?" I said.

"We just wanted to know if Zack asked you if you would want to come to the gig tonight," Jack said.

"Well he did ask if I was free or not," I said and they all, except Cassie who was practically dreaming by now, started snickering. "What?" I said wondering why they started acting all weird.

"Well won't you look at the time," Alex said hurriedly.

"Hey, answer me!" I demanded.

"Maybe later, but for now, bye," he said and they all rushed out of the store leaving me with a sigh. I wonder what Zack has planned for tonight.

After I told Mr. Anderson about Cassie, I went back to work and let the time fly by fast. Once the day was done, I got my bag and locked up for the night. I went home at about 5 in the afternoon and saw Zack waiting on the front porch.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," I said as soon as I got out of my car. I kissed him hello and asked him to come in with me.

"So, how was your day?" Zack asked starting the conversation.

"It was okay, except for the fact that Alex, Rian and Jack visited me in work today saying that you had something planned." I said and he blushed.

"Yea, I kinda wanted to ask you if you wanted to come with me to the gig tonight." He said shyly.

"I'd love to," I said wrapping my arms around him as he smiled that beautiful smile he had.

"Okay, it starts at seven so what do you suppose we do now?" he said and I looked at him with curious eyes. He smiled slyly and pulled me up the stairs. We rushed to my room with fits of laughter knowing exactly what he had in mind. Once we locked the door and shut the blinds, he pulled me close and kissed me. Then the clothes started shedding. And well let's just say we had some fun…

We both fell asleep after what I guess was an hour. I woke up from under the sheets and noticed that he was still asleep. I put on some clothes and brushed my hair and prepared for what was in store for tonight. I looked at the clock and saw that it was already 7:30 P.M. I woke him up quickly and he quickly dressed back up in his clothes. We hurried to the door and we were on our way.

Once we got to the venue, Alex, Jack and Rian asked him why he was late.

"Well we kinda fell asleep," Zack said as he turned and winked at me. I grinned at him as the guys looked back at him in disbelief.

"Whatever man, you missed sound check and we had to stall just to wait for you to arrive," Rian said.

"Alright, alright already I'm sorry. Let's get on with the show," Zack said and they were off. I watched them from backstage where Cassie was currently staying. Only, she was asleep and unconscious of her surroundings. I kept my eyes on Zack the whole time and I don't think I looked at anyone else but him. Well, I guess I can say that, Zack's an eye catcher. That's for sure.


	11. Chapter 11

After the show, the four of them came in the room all sweaty. That show, I just saw was probably the best I've seen in my entire life. I'm not being biased, I'm being honest. Since they played a great show, it was only natural that they came in really tired and sweaty. I let Zack wash up first before I came close and kissed him.

"That show was awesome," I told him as he held me in his arms.

"Thanks," he said as he let go.

"Come on man! The fans can't wait any longer." Jack said heading out the door. Apparently, they were having a signing outside.

"Fine," Zack said and sighed. "Come with me?" he asked sweetly.

"Okay," I said and I smiled at him.

When we were out the door, he held my hand as the screaming fan girls came running towards them holding out pictures, CDs and cameras. Honestly, I felt kinda awkward and out of place just by standing there. Most girls stared at me but the rest were staring intently at our intertwined hands. Zack gripped my hand tighter which made me look at him.

"You'll be fine," he whispered in to my ear. And that's when all the other girls who clearly wanted Zack rolled their eyes on me. Zack just sighed and started signing still holding my hand. He only let me go when his fans asked him to take a picture or when he was asked to sign a shirt or when he hugged someone else. I couldn't help but feel jealous but hey, if this is how it is being the rockstar's girlfriend then I'm down with it.

It took him about an hour and a half to finally finish signing. There were a lot of photographers taking candid pictures of Zack and I guess this is something good for the band. More publication, more fans, more reasons to rock the whole world.

"Whew, what a day," Alex said with Cassie by his side and I'm guessing less intoxicated but really cranky. She had a scowl on her face which I think meant that she either had a fight with one of the fans or she had a bad hangover.

"I've never seen so many girls in my entire life," Jack said dazzled.

"Yea, me too," Rian said sarcastically. I've always pitied Rian when it comes to the signing because not many people go to him and let him sign. Well I guess that's what he gets for having a girlfriend for a really long time.

"Its okay, Rian, you're girlfriend's probably waiting for you somewhere," I said trying to cheer him up as he smiled at me.

Zack's hand wasn't intertwined with mine anymore. Instead, his arm was around my shoulder. I loved it when he slings his arm over my shoulder like that. It makes me feel kinda special in a way.

"So are we going to the after party or what?" Jack asked impatiently.

"Yes Jack we are going to the after party." Alex said as the band started moving towards their cars.

We walked to Zack's car slowly I mean if he really wanted to go I'd rush with him but right now I guess he didn't feel like it.

"Hey, I just wanted to thank you," he said as we walked.

"What for?" I asked him. I looked at him as he looked back at me.

"For not causing a big mess like Cassie did," he said and I giggled.

"Well I didn't really see what the problem was so I guess there was no point in making such a fuss," I said and he kissed me quickly before we went to both sides of the car. We both climbed in and Zack revved up the engine.

"You sure you wanna go?" he asked reassuringly.

"Yea, why?" I asked curiously.

"Umm, it's just that I'm a little different when I'm tipsy and well…" he trailed off and I smiled as he warned me.

"Well I guess I'd have to learn to put up with you then. Drunk or sober." I said and he grinned.

"Then lets get this party started then," he said and we were on our way.

Somehow, I couldn't stop myself from feeling nervous. I sorta had a bad feeling about this but if it makes him happy then I guess it's worth a shot. All I know is that I love him and that's that.


	12. Chapter 12

We drove in to the scene at approximately nine o'clock and there's no telling when we can get out. Zack started the introductions and introduced me to some really cool people and some not so cool ones. I tried my best to keep it simple and not really making a bad first impression. I wouldn't want people back biting about me tomorrow now did I? Well I didn't so I just waved and said hi whenever I needed to and made some small talk with people who asked me questions.

Zack and I walked around some more and I noticed that there were a lot of people here. But one thing that I didn't like about this party was that Kevin was also present with another girl in his arms. I don't think he saw me since he was too busy sticking his tongue in that girl's mouth. I turned away from the atrocious view and smiled at Zack who looked at me with concern.

"You okay?" he asked sincerely.

"Yea, I'm fine, don't worry about me." I simply said and we walked to the other side of the house hand in hand.

"Wait here, I'll be right back." He said settling me down on an empty couch as he disappeared in the sea of people before me. He was probably heading to the kitchen to fix himself a drink. I looked around and waved at the people who I got introduced to as they passed by.

Minutes seemed to pass by slowly as more people started flooding in to the house. I saw Alex and Cassie outside playing a game of beer pong with Jack and Rian and a whole lot of other people who I didn't know. I never really thought that I'd be in some kinda party like this right now. I mean I never really imagined myself being the girlfriend of a band member. It wasn't really my scene…until now.

"Hey there beautiful," a guy with black scene hair and piercing green eyes greeted sitting down beside me. I turned my body to face him as he chugged down the rest of his drink.

"Hey," I said. "I'm Brooke," I introduced. I let out a hand for him to shake.

"I'm Craig," he said taking my hand but instead of shaking it, he brought it to his lips and kissed it. "What's a pretty looking lady like you doing all alone?" he asked bringing my hand down but not really letting go. I tried to loosen my grip on his hand but that didn't really do anything.

"Well I'm just waiting for-"

"She's waiting for me," Zack said suddenly appearing with two red cups in his hand. Craig let go of my hand and his eyes started to fill with fear.

"Oh-uh, sorry I didn't know," Craig stuttered walking away as fast as he could.

"I'm sorry I didn't-"

"Don't worry about it, Craig's an asshole," he said handing me a red cup as he sat beside me.

"Thanks," I said retrieving the cup from him. I took a quick swig from it and realized exactly what he placed inside. Vodka and sprite kinda my favorite, somewhat my type.

I remember the first time I drank something alcoholic. It was one time during summer. I was in one of my friend's party and it wasn't really what I expected it to be. I mean the invitation said that it would just be a masquerade ball. I didn't really think it'd go out of proportion and turn into a drink-all-the-alcohol-you-want fest. But that was high school and I guess if you did have a party; it would definitely include something alcoholic and something to keep you high i.e. drugs and all that crap. I was never really in to anything like that and I never had a smoke or a drink at the time but as you grow, things change right? Well my point of view about drug abuse didn't change but alcohol? Let's just say that's a whole different story.

There were also a lot of people in that party and it was held in the ballroom of one of my classmate's hotels. Zack was there too and well he was with his friends but I didn't really know where he was since well we were all masked and you know…you can't really tell who's who.

He approached me out of the blue and said "Hey there," he had no idea that the girl he was talking to was in fact his best friend so I just told him that it was me and he told me to play along since he was in one of those stupid bets guys make. If he approached some other girl, I swear it wouldn't only be a drink-all-the-alcohol-you-want fest but it would also be a hurt palooza. To tell you the truth, yes, I was hurt but I know how these bet things worth and well I kinda knew that if I didn't do what I did, he and I wouldn't be in good terms afterward.

Anyway, back to reality, after a couple more chugs of what Zack gave me, we started making out on the couch. I wasn't really a big fan of PDA but what the hell. We all have to try it some time right?

I thought everything was going to be alright that was until something flashed right in front of us. Seconds later, it occurred to me that there were cameras but Zack held on way tighter. It didn't really hurt but it was kinda tight. I peeked through one eye just to see that other people were whispering right in front of us. It was weird really.

"Do you mind?" Zack said after he broke away. He was starting to get annoyed and his mood slowly started to change. Knowing Zack for so long, I don't think you'd want to see him angry and I'm not sure if this was the alcohol or if this was really him but either way, I still wouldn't want to mess with him.

"Sorry," I heard one say with some kinda attitude in her tone and with that they all started to disperse. I turned to him and stroked his cheek. He grabbed my hand and sighed heavily.

"I'm really sorry about this," he said and I used my free hand to lift his chin up.

"It's okay Zack. You can't really not expect this to happen to you I mean you guys are really big now so a little piece of advice: Always expect the unexpected." I said and he smiled.

"Really? Well you and I, I never really expected us to happen so does that count?" he said as he leaned in and I smiled.

"I guess," I said wrapping my arms around his neck and allowing his tongue to linger in my mouth.


	13. Chapter 13

We stayed like that for a while and I just tried to have a good time but it has hard to keep that in mind while people were staring. Once our lips parted, he smiled at me and I smiled back. I drank more from my cup until eventually, there was nothing left. Zack brought me to the kitchen to get more. He was already on his fifth cup while I was on my fourth. He was starting to stumble around and my vision started to get really blurry and then we started to dance.

A slow song played for us to dance to so I wrapped my arms around his neck and he placed his hands on my waists and we started to sway to the tune.

"You look so beautiful tonight," Zack slurred as our foreheads met. I closed my eyes and smiled as I heard him breathing out and in.

"You look pretty too," I said and felt kinda stupid but I was too wasted to care.

"I missed you so much, Addie." He said and that caught my attention. I let go of him and almost tumbled to the ground but luckily a wall saved me from my almost fall.

"What?" I said making a slight mood change.

"C'mon, Addie don't do this now, there are people here," he whispered and I started to get angry. My stomach was starting to hurt a lot and my head was starting to spin and I was feeling nauseous. "You okay, Addie?" he asked and I had enough. Why is he calling me that? That's not my name! Doesn't he remember me? I'm Brooke Rose! I'm not Addie or whoever that hoe bag is.

"Get away from me!" I screamed as he tried to hold me in his arms. I shimmied out of his grip and ran past the door.

"Addie!" I heard him scream but I didn't stop. I just kept walking. I saw a cab and raised my hand up in the air as it came my way. I got in and told the driver where to go. I paid him the exact amount and got out and rushed in to my house. I climbed or stumbled up the stairs in my tears and cried myself to sleep.

The reason for my ruined mascara and my wet pillows was shallow, I know, but I couldn't help but think that maybe he's still strung out on someone and I'm not even sure if that Addie person is a past or a present. Doesn't he care? If she was a present, then I'd never talk to him but if she was a past then, maybe or I'm not so sure. Nothing's clear now and my eyes are starting to sting. I washed them in the bathroom together with the make up before I really went to sleep.

When all traces of mascara was washed away, I went back to the room and slept and prepared for what was to come the next day- a hangover.

The bright light shined through the window the next day and I couldn't open my eyes wide enough because of it. Well that was only part of why I couldn't really open them up. The other reason was that my eyes hurt like hell and it hurt when I tried to open them. I wanted to close them and roll back to sleep but my alarm started ringing and it was like hell on earth minus the heat and the devil. I was in so much pain, it was almost unbearable. But luckily, I made my way down the stairs without falling or breaking anything. I got a glass of water and popped two aspirins in my mouth. I downed them with water and waited for the painkillers to kick in.

I took a quick shower thinking that it might do the job and partly it did. I changed and got ready for work and once I was set, I locked the door and got in my car and drove myself to work.

"What happened to you last night?" Cassie asked as soon as I punched in and deposited my bag.

"I have no idea." I stated boldly. Honestly I didn't really know what happened. All I remember was making out with Zack and then running away for some weird reason.

"How much did you drink exactly?" she asked looking at me anxiously.

"I lost count," I said heaving a sigh. This was going to be a long day.

"So you don't remember what exactly happened?" she asked. It was as if she knew something I didn't and I hate it when people keep things from me. Why can't they just say it aloud?

"I just remember ending the night in tears because of something Zack did," I said and she just nodded. Somehow, she seemed relieved.

"I see," she said and then she changed the topic and she started talking about Alex and everything they did. She gave out too much information but at least I wasn't really listening to what she was blabbing about. I was too preoccupied with all the other thoughts running through my head.

"That's cool," I said out of the blue and hopefully I didn't say something wrong since I didn't really here what she was saying before that.

"I know right?" she said in the highest pitch possible. It rang in my ears for a while and then I excused my self as I started to work.

3 hours passed by quickly and before I knew it, it was already lunch time. I was heading to the back room when suddenly, someone stopped me in my tracks. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned back to face that person.

"Brooke?" Zack said as soon as our eyes met. I wasn't sure if I wasn't supposed to talk to him or not so I just responded with silence.

"Brooke, please, I didn't mean it. Just please forgive me," he pleaded. He started begging but he wasn't down on one knee. He just took both my hands and looked in to my eyes.

"Zack, I don't even know what happened," I whispered to him, ashamed. I looked down and suddenly, he let go of one of hands and he used his free hand to lift my chin up. He looked at me with tired eyes. From my point of view, when I looked at his eyes, I noticed that they seemed different. They seemed tired. He cried himself to sleep last night too.

Silence surrounded us as he leaned in and kissed me. I gave in and tried to remember exactly what happened. Maybe I'd get something from this kiss but so far, there's nothing.

"Addie!" Alex's voice chimed in and I instantly broke away from him. The memory came back to me and now, I know exactly what went down last night. Zack turned to Alex and when I saw Alex, he looked somewhat terrified. He mouthed a sorry and then Zack turned back to me.

"I can't believe you'd try to pretend it never happened," I said taking my hand from his.

"Brooke, I can explain," he said grabbing my wrist before I could turn and walk away.

"Explain or make another alibi? I fell flat on my face too many times Zack and I didn't expect this from you. Addie is not my name," I said bitterly and he paused letting the silence give him some time to think.

"I know I was just-"

"Drunk? No Zack, don't you think that's such an overused excuse?" I said and he couldn't bounce back with another response. At least I wasn't expecting him too. So much for expecting the unexpected.


	14. Chapter 14

[ZACK'S POV]

I stood there like some dumb idiot with nothing to say. So instead of holding her captive and wasting her time, I let her go and she walked away as tears fell from her green eyes. Hangovers are the worse especially when I was in a situation like this. Well, it was all my fault but I blame Alex too. If he didn't just come in and shout her name out loud it would've been fine but I wouldn't want to keep more and more things from her so I guess I have to tell her the truth. But how can I do that when probably, she'll never talk to me again? I'm hopeless and I don't think she'll listen this time. But is it right to end it already? I mean I don't want to end it just yet. Truth is, I love her and I want her with me all the time. I can't stand seeing her with someone else and I just…

I sighed to myself as she walked past the door with eyes teary and red. It's all because of me. For my being reckless and careless and most of all, stupid. I shook my head and walked over to where Alex and Addie were or shall I say Cassie instead? I leaned on my elbow on the counter as I watched them stare at me with pity in their eyes.

"Zack, just give her time," Cassie said.

Well if you really want to know the whole background of the story, Cassie was actually an old flame of mine and her full name is Cassandra Addison Fleming. She and I used to be a couple way back. When I left for tour, and went to a show in Arizona, I met her and well that's kinda how we started to like each other. But long distance relationships never really worked out so we both agreed to end our 3 month relationship and stick to being friends. No tears were shed really and plus we kinda got tired of always calling from time to time and sometimes we'd catch each other in the break of dawn or probably the middle of the night so it was a hard thing to keep doing for both of us. We honestly confessed to each other about how we really felt and well since we didn't really have a problem with it, we just stuck to being friends. I used to call her Addie because I everyone else called her Cassie and it was more or less a pet name you know, she said it even made her feel a bit special.

I never knew Alex had some sort of interest in her but I'm glad they're together now. I mean I really don't mind but right now, I'm currently hating Alex for what occurred a while back. I know that I shouldn't blame anyone but the alcohol and myself but I just don't know anymore. I'm clueless to say the least.

"But what happens if she'll hate me forever?" I asked as I heaved a big sigh.

"Dude, c'mon I think you're over reacting. She can't hate you forever. Think about your friendship. If you both have a strong bond then this will just pass and you guys can be friends again." Alex said placing his arm around Cassie's shoulders.

"But I don't want to be just friends with her, Alex. I want to be more than that." I said. Clearly I'm a hopeless romantic but I didn't really care. I mean she fell for me once. Can't she do it again? I'm beginning to think that I ask myself too many questions.

"Can we go eat first? I'm getting hungry," Cassie said and I slowly nodded in grief.

We went into a fast food restaurant and we ordered some things that caught our attention on the menu. Once we ordered, I slouched in my seat crossing my arms. I tried to push all my thoughts and questions away and tried not to ruin lunch for the happy couple.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur and everything in my head couldn't seem to get out as I stayed silent even when someone asked me something. I didn't want to talk and I didn't want to think about anything else. During band practice, I didn't even try to touch the bass guitar and they didn't even do anything about it. They understood me but I hardly understood myself. When we ended, I hurriedly ran straight to my car and drove to her apartment building. I parked in the basement and went up to her floor using the elevator. I checked my phone for the time and it said that it was currently 5:30 P.M. she should be out of work by now. I reached the door seconds later but I wasn't sure if she was inside or if she wasn't. I wanted to knock and see if she was inside but I wasn't really sure if I should or shouldn't. I thought long and hard and tried to convince myself that this was the only way and once I did, I knocked on the door.

I knocked about five times and there was no answer. Maybe she went somewhere after work or hung out with someone. Thinking about it made me angry but I think it was really jealousy that was flooding my head. So I sat by the door for an hour or so waiting for her to come back. But then my eyes started to get heavy and they soon closed and I lost consciousness.

[BROOKE'S POV]

I can't believe I had to stay late today. I hate Mr. Anderson for this but at least he'll give me a raise. As soon as my shift was done, I claimed my bag from the back and headed out as fast as I could. I drove my car to the nearby gas station to get it refueled. Once I was through with that, I looked at the clock and noticed that it was already 6:00 P.M. so I drove to a restaurant and ate an early dinner. I then paid the bills and went back to my apartment. This day seemed kinda slow but I didn't really seem to care. When I went up the elevator and in to the hallway, I saw that someone was sitting by the door probably asleep. Was that Zack? I ran quickly to see if he was okay.

"Zack? Zack?" I said shaking him as I started to feel anxious. He started groaning as his eyes fluttered open.

"Brooke, I wanna talk," he said sleepily as I sighed in relief. Sure, I was angry at him but I guess I needed to hear what he had to say so I let him in. I placed my bad on top of the table before turning back to face him.

He told me why he called me 'Addie' that night and explained to me that he was referring to Cassie. I really couldn't believe it actually I mean not that he'd fall for someone like Cassie. I couldn't believe that Cassie had the guts to ask what happened last night knowing exactly what went down. Has she been putting on an act all this time? Being surprised that I knew the band and shit like that? Never have I felt more betrayed in my life. I called her a friend and she lies to my face? All this time, she knew where Zack was. She knew the band but she asked me to introduce her to them but she knew who they were? Why was she doing this? Why couldn't she just say "Oh, you know them too? So do I." how hard can that be? I was truly devastated at practically both of them and I couldn't take any more of their games.

But as I listened intently to what he said, I came down to a conclusion. Why me? Out of all the people they could've played with, why did they have to pick someone who wasn't really interested in playing this game of lies? I swear, I could've just burst in rage and anger right then and there but I held it in. I'm practically boiling in so much pain but he's just too blind to see it. And I bet he won't be able to see what I've planned for the future.

"I'm sorry Zack," I said and he looked at me with confusion in his eyes.

"For what? If anyone should apologize here, it really should be me," he said with all honesty. At least that's what his eyes were telling me.

"Well I guess but still, I'm sorry," I said. I was saying sorry because I planned to do something in the future and I don't think he'll ever forgive me for it but at least I said sorry when I had the chance.

"Okay then," he said and I shut the door and he walked away. I didn't know where we were exactly in this relationship but I didn't really care because I'm planning to take the wrong path…


	15. Chapter 15

The next morning, I had a day off. It was Saturday and usually, I didn't work on that day. So I hopped out of bed and took a bath before I ate breakfast. After doing so, I checked my phone to see that Zack left me a message. He greeted me 'good morning' but I don't think it'll be quite a good one.

I'm ready to do this. Nothing can hold me back. I told myself that over and over but there was this feeling in the pit of stomach and there was a fight going on in my head. One part of me was saying that this was wrong and that I shouldn't push through with it. The other part was telling me that it was a great idea to just forget and start anew. This fight went on for hours and before I knew it, I've been sitting on this chair holding my phone for a good ten minutes. I shook all my thoughts away and called my boss. I was quitting my job and that was final.

When I finished the call, I heard disappointment in his voice but that's what was supposed to happen right? Everyone was supposed to get angry at me for what I was about to do? But at least I apologized and had the right mind to do it. I sighed heavily before going up and packing up. Didn't you get it already? I was planning to move out. I was planning to start over in a new town. Somewhere far away from here so that my life would be easier and Zack can go look for someone better. If he got over me as soon as he knew I left, then that would be better.

I started to put my belongings in boxes and brought them all down to my car. Luckily everything fit inside. Then I had to return my apartment key to the receptionist. Once that was over with, I stayed in little coffee shop they had and wrote a letter for anyone who might be looking for me. I sealed the letter after writing about two full pages about why I left and gave it to the receptionist.

"What's this for, dear?" she asked me with the kindest voice I've ever heard.

"Well, I wanted you to give that to whoever will come and look for me." I said holding back the tears.

"Oh, you mean that boy that came here yesterday? He was smokin'!" she exclaimed and I laughed.

"Anyone, it could be him or somebody else." I said remembering why I liked him so much. It wasn't only because of the looks. There were a lot of things that made me fall actually but I guess hearing him call me in another name tore me apart. Maybe I was too sensitive. I mean he was drunk and I could've just gotten over it but I don't think that's a good idea. Well I'm not really thinking straight but I don't really care anymore. I was going to do this no matter what.

She nodded and bid me goodbye. Before I left, I picked up a brochure about the United States. It showed me a map on how to get from here to another state. I looked at the map and decided that I was going to New Jersey. Once I made that final, I got in the car and stopped by a gas station before starting the road trip. While I refilled the tank, I got my phone and called my mom. I needed financial support for this one. I mean I can buy my own apartment with all the money I saved, I can practically live for a whole year if I didn't get a job but I didn't want to spend my money just yet.

"Mom?" I said as soon as she picked up.

"Why, hello Brooke," She said happily. She was probably surprised because I never used to call her out of the blue.

"Hi mom, I just wanted to let you know that I was moving to New Jersey and that-"

"Say no more, I'll pay for your rent. Don't worry about a thing." She said cutting me off mid sentence. I was kinda surprised about what she just said. It took me some time to take it all in but once I regained my composure I thanked her and then said goodbye.

It's all set for me. I don't have to worry about rent. The only thing that I have to worry about is what apartment I'm getting and what job I'm taking. I didn't really want something serious like a businesswoman or a doctor or a lawyer. I don't think I'll be able to handle those jobs very well so right now, I'm currently undecided. After refilling my tank, I paid the amount due for the gas and revved up the engine and went on my way.

Weirdly, I didn't feel any trace of remorse or regret in my actions. I didn't really feel miserably hopeless or I didn't feel the need to turn back and ruin all my plans. This seemed like a great thing for me and somehow, I'm glad that I actually thought about this and I'm glad that this all is happening right now. Call me a pessimist or call me crazy but it's my life. I can do whatever I want whenever I want and deal with the consequences later when they show up right in front of me. I was ready for them and I just hope that nothing from my past will ever show up in the future that I have planned just today.

[ZACK'S POV]

I'm confused. I mean who wouldn't be? After what happened last night, I wasn't sure where we were in the relationship and I wasn't sure if I should go see her. Maybe she just needs some time alone to think. Maybe she's tired from the week she had. Maybe she needs some space. Maybe she's just living her life. But she's doing all that without me and for some reason, I just can't live with that. I mean isn't it unfair? Well maybe it isn't and maybe it is. Honestly, I don't know what I'm saying or what I just said. Everything around me is just so hectic and I don't think it will ever be the same. Well maybe, if she forgives me, it'll be alright but since she hasn't and maybe she never will, I just don't know what to do. It's hard to think about what to do in situations like these but I guess if life gives you a challenge then you might as well face it, right?

Gah! I don't know. I groaned at myself and my senseless thoughts. I have to get up and get going. We had a show tomorrow night so we were practicing today. After a few minutes of silence, I decided to roll over and take a shower. After I changed into a band shirt and some board shorts, I slipped on my favorite pair of Vans, got my phone and slid it in my pockets and got the keys to my car and locked the door when I went out. I got in the car and notice that she didn't reply to me. Was she avoiding me now?

I leaned back on the seat before starting the car. I couldn't take all this misery anymore. I headed down the street and drove to her apartment building. I wanted to see her. I wanted to know if she was fine or not and if she still wanted to be with me. I parked my car in the parking lot and jogged over to the entrance. I didn't really see why I had to take my time so I rushed in and asked the receptionist if she was in or not.

"Umm, she wanted me to give this to anyone who was looking for her," she said holding out a white envelope. There was fear and anxiety in her eyes and I wondered what was inside.

"Thanks," I said quickly and opened the envelope. I sat on the couch as I read everything she wrote.

In the letter, these words were written:

April 20, 2009

Dear Zack,

I'm really sorry to tell you that I moved out. Probably when you read this, I'd be on the road looking for some place else to stay and start again. I'm sorry that I had to miss your birthday and I'm sorry for everything that I've done wrong. You see, this is what I meant yesterday. I'm sorry because I had to do this. I couldn't stand it anymore. It was too much. All those games you play with all your playmates, it's just ridiculous and well, I never said I wanted to play. I wanted to be with you Zack, I didn't want to just play with you. I wanted a real relationship, I wanted the real thing and I didn't want games so to make things easier for you, to make you realize that there is someone better for you, I left so that you can be with that someone without me there to tell you that I think the girl you chose is someone inappropriate or is not good enough for you. I'm setting you free Zack and I hope you realize that there really is someone out there who can understand you better than I ever can.

Funny thing is that while I was writing this, I've been holding back tears. I'm not sure if the tears are welling up because I'm leaving and I might not be able to see you again but well I've dealt with that and so have you. Remember the time you left and told me you'd call and well, I never even got a single one? Well I forgive you for that Zack and I hope you'll have the guts to forgive me for this too. You might not have seen this coming and I could've warned you but I thought about it and told myself that if I ever mentioned this to you, all you'll do is hold me back and tell me not to go. Zack, I know this will hurt you but always know that this hurt me too. You hurt me a lot Zack more than you can ever imagine. Drunk or sober, you awarded me with pain but don't get me wrong. Happiness was part of the relationship too.

I know that you're asking yourself about a million questions right now but just keep in mind that you'll be able to find the answers and that there will always be a tomorrow. Time won't fade Zack, it'll always be there by your side and with time, you'll be able to heal and you'll be able to forget and start over and be happy again. I know that without me, nothing can you hold you back and that's one of the reasons why I left. I felt like I was holding you back and I didn't want to so maybe if I was out of sight, out of your mind, out of your way, maybe you'll be able to do things you've never had a chance to do while you were with me. And just to clear things up, this letter not only states that I'm moving away and possibly not coming back but it also states that it's over and you're free. Free from all the misery that I have bestowed upon you. I never imagined that I'd be the one to break us apart but I think that maybe you'll be better actually I think you'll be greater than ever. I know you will be and no one is good that can't be better right? I didn't forget Zack. I remembered everything that has happened between us as children until this day and I don't think I'll be able to tell myself that none of those happened.

Maybe sooner or later fate will bring us together again. I'm up to that but for now, I guess this is goodbye.

With much love,

Brooke

P.S. if you're not Zack please do me a favor and hand this to him. And if you didn't read the letter, well I'm moving away and I don't think I'm coming back.

…………………………………………………………………………………

Tears rolled down my eyes as I read the letter. She's never coming back? This day just can't get any better… That was my new motto…

I don't think I'll be able to get over this. I don't think I'll be able to think straight again after reading the contents of the paper in this white envelope.


	16. Chapter 16

[ZACK'S POV]

I spent the day sitting there like a lost puppy. I didn't know what to do next. Clueless to say the least. Never have I felt this way before and it's heartbreaking to know that she won't be here anymore. She won't be here to answer my questions and she won't be here for me to love. I really did not intend to just play with her. I swear, I never thought that what happened would happen. I guess I never believed in what she said when she told me to expect the unexpected.

As I sat on the seat in the lobby, I thought about tomorrow. I thought about my birthday. I thought about the only day I get to feel really special since I was born on that day but when I try to think harder about what might happen, I just saw myself on my couch doing nothing and imagining that I wasn't having fun at all. That never happened to me as a child. I mean my birthday was usually my only super duper happy day and she just took it away by moving out? Honestly, I thought that it was selfish and I don't think I can ever forgive her. I wanted to look for her badly and I wanted her around me. I don't know how I'm going to survive like this. This is stupid. Why did she have to move away from me? I told her I was sorry, wasn't that enough? Did she want something more? I wonder how many questions are running around in my head right now because seriously, a million isn't enough. If I could just have the chance to find her and get a hold of her, I swear I'd get down on my knees and beg her not to go. She was the only one that has been there for me. She was the only one I thought I could never live without and she set me free? I gave her everything she ever wanted and I get this in return? I mean I may have made some mistakes in the past but this is just too much.

I rubbed my eyes and wiped away the tears that were about to escape my eyes. I took a deep breath and got in the car and drove off with the letter in my pocket. I searched for my phone and found it in the glove compartment. I looked for her name and called her hoping that she would stop and talk to me for a while. I called her at least ten times before I gave up. I drove around and tried to get things out of my mind but I just couldn't. I wanted to talk her down. I wanted to show her that I wasn't playing with her. I wanted a lot of things but then not everyone gets what they want now do they? I drove for miles and miles on a straight path with a couple of turns and just sat on the seat and thought about the endless possibilities. But even the road couldn't pull my mind off of what I just read. I tried so hard until my phone rang. I quickly picked it up before doing anything else.

"Hello?" I said in so much surprise.

"Zack, where the fuck are you?" Jack said casually and I sighed banging my head on my hand that had a tight grip on the steering wheel.

"It doesn't matter," I said taking a sharp U-turn in the middle of the open road.

"You're late dude and-"

"Dude I said I don't care!" I said and threw the phone at the side. I was too pissed off right now and I didn't want to face all the other people because in this state of mind, the only one that could calm me down was Brooke. She was the only one that could do anything about now. I turned to the right and entered the parking lot of the beach we used to hang out in. Where it was only me and her. I parked in an open space and got out of the car and locked the doors as soon as I was out. I walked to the spot we used to sit in.

At this time of year, no one usually visited the beach so you can practically say that I was alone and I hated that fact. I just couldn't handle being alone. I played with the sand beneath me as I took a seat. But that didn't bring a smile to my face so I just looked up ahead and watched the waves as they crashed on the shore. I wondered if I was going to be like those waves. They crashed hard on the shore and was I going to crash hard too? I rolled my eyes at how stupid my thoughts were becoming. Clearly I wasn't thinking straight anymore but it wasn't my fault. Or maybe it was. She left because of me. She never wanted to see me again because I was a jerk and because I was a fucked up idiot with no sense of knowledge. I wasn't smart enough to see this through. So much for low self esteem.

"You know, I never thought you'd do this to me. I never thought that this would happen. I didn't want to expect the unexpected and well… I don't know anymore okay? You win! Did you hear that? I said you won." I said talking as loud as possible. This was stupid but hey, that's me right? "I don't know if you'll ever learn to miss me because right now, I miss you like hell and I don't care if I look like a crazy psychopath here! I love you so much Brooke and I never wanna stay away from you. You shouldn't have moved away." I said and tears just started rolling down like waterfalls. I sighed again and again but crying won't bring her back now will it?

"What the hell are you doing?" Alex asked. I wonder how he found me but right now, I just wanted to leave that unanswered.

"Dude, just shut up!" I said getting all angry and mad at him even though I should be really mad at myself. I didn't want this to affect our friendship but what the hell.

"What happened?" he asked curiously. I didn't want to answer him so I showed him the letter.

He read it for quite a while and gave it back when he was through reading it. He patted my shoulder and told me that everything was gonna be fine but no, I don't think it'll ever be.

"Maybe we'll find her while we tour." He said trying to cheer me up but that was a long shot. I mean America was fucking large. Who knows where the hell she could be? She might be in the air going to some place else right now somewhere far away. Somewhere far away from me.

I looked up at the clouds and said "Yea, maybe,"


	17. Chapter 17

[BROOKE'S POV]

It's been two days and I haven't had a wink of sleep but I had coffee to keep me going. I never really pulled out an all-nighter before and I wonder how I even handled pulling it off. I arrived in Essex, New Jersey at about 4 in the morning. My phone was on silent the whole time so whoever called me, I apologize. I rubbed my eyes to erase any trace of sleep from them and went into the hotel that stood in front of me. I got the bag I filled with my clothes for the hotel stay and went in. Luckily, they gave me a room at this time of day. I rode the elevator and went in to the 7th floor where my room was to be found. I yawned a couple of times in the elevator which meant that if it didn't move any faster, I might fall asleep in it but luckily the door opened and revealed a normal hotel setting. Carpeted floor, table with a vase, a painting behind it, and a two way division. It all seemed pretty normal to me. I went in my room by following the directions on the wall and had a good night sleep.

The next morning, I woke up to the bright ray of sunshine that lit up the whole room. I took a deep breath in and observed my surroundings. I sighed to myself and tried to remember why I was here. Once I remembered, tears started welling up but I held it all back. There's no use crying over that boy because no matter how many tears come out of my eyes, he'll always be the same person. I got up and out of bed and went to the bathroom to take a shower. I really, really needed one so I quickly got out of my clothes and let the hot water trickle down the different parts of my body that have been crying out for it for the past two days.

The bath was very relaxing and if I were a critique for hotels and stuff like that, I'd probably give this place a nine over ten. I was happy today which was sort of surprising. Maybe it was because I got a good sleep or maybe it's because I'm starting over without him. With nothing to hold me back anymore. I was finally free. I began smiling endlessly at the thoughts that came over me until I heard a knock on the door. I quickly got up and opened it.

"Good morning," my mother greeted as she let herself in.

"Mom?" I said standing in the doorway while she was already looking at the room I stayed in. I turned around and shut the door.

"Well, this is an exquisite place." My mother said surprised.

"How did you find me?" I asked her changing the topic.

"Lucky guess," she said winking at me. My mom was this really big business woman. I never really asked her what she did because well, I was never interested. All I knew was that her job gave her money. Lots of it. That money was enough to feed a really large family and well we were only two since my mom said my dad left me as a child. I didn't really care about him after that. I just lived my life with one parent who wasn't always there for me as a child. That's why I used to spend a lot of time at Zack's place. His mom was the mom I've always dreamed of having but when she passed away, well let's just say that I thought being alone was better than having a parent with you.

"Okay?" I said not really believing her.

"So how have you been?" she asked me as she sat on my messed up bed.

"Okay I guess," I said sitting on the chair beside the bed.

"Well, I've missed you so much and I've already picked out an apartment for you. I already set it up so you won't have to do anything but live in it." She said handing me the keys to my apartment and a map on how to get there and I was stunned. I really wonder why she did all that for me.

You see this is how it went. When I went to college, I got out of the house as fast as I could. I remembered moving out while she was on some kind of business trip. The only one looking after me then was Theresa, our maid. She begged me not to go but I wanted to because if I didn't, I would literally kill myself. Well I don't think I could but a little exaggeration wouldn't hurt right? So when I moved out and bought the apartment I just left, I didn't know what to do and well I didn't really have a problem because no one ever asked me for my rent or whatsoever but after weeks of no notification, I began to grow suspicious and that's when the receptionist in the lobby told me that someone paid it all for me. I was surprised at first when she told me exactly who and then I felt guilty for leaving without a word. Honestly, I never thought my mom would speak to me again and for nights I have wondered if things between us would ever be the same but when I knew that she paid my dues, what I did was break down and cry. I didn't do it all in public though. So after I graduated from a four year course, I started working and paying for my own rent. And after that, the receptionist told me that she never received any other payment again. I thought that was the end of everything my mom and I went through and I thought that everything ended just like that but seeing her here in my hotel room, looking as young and pretty she always was, proved to me that she still loved me.

"Mom, I'm sorry," I said giving her a big hug. She held me even tighter and I think I heard her sob a little or maybe she was just holding it back but I don't really know.

"It's okay," She said. Her voice sounded strong and stern as she held back the tears that wanted to come out. "Just promise to call me whenever you need anything okay?" she said rubbing my back up and down like she used to do when I was but a child.

"Okay," I said starting to feel a little emotional.

We talked a little more after the hug and caught up on everything that has happened throughout the days we spent away from each other. It was a great moment. Probably the greatest mother-daughter moment I've ever had.

"If you really want to know, I did this for you because your birthday was coming up in a month and I don't know if we'll ever be able to see each other again." She said and that just made me smile. I love my mom so much and I just wanted to tell her so many things but not even words could express what I felt for her. It was just too much and it overwhelmed me.

"Thank you so much mom," I said and I really, really wanted to cry right now but I had to save that for later.

"Oh, before I forget," she said looking for something in her bag. "Here," She gave me a job list in her own handwriting. I looked up at her before really looking at it and smiled and gave her another hug and that's when her pager went off. I didn't really care if she needed to attend to something important because I know that we would definitely see each other again. No doubt.

"I love you, Mom." I told her as soon as she stood in the doorway.

"I love you too, Brooke," she said giving me a kiss on the forehead before she left. "Don't forget to call me," she called out before turning to where the elevators were.

I nodded even though I knew that she wouldn't be able to see. I sighed to myself and got to work. I grabbed my bag and got everything that belonged to me and went out the door and down the elevators. I got something to eat and checked out of the hotel and then I was on my way back to the beginning.


	18. Chapter 18

When I got to my new place, all I did was unpack and placed all the things I had in boxes and bags in the appropriate places. Once all that was done, I figured that I needed to find a job and well maybe do a little shopping. I wanted to buy some new clothes and other necessities so that I can truly say that I really began something entirely new. I grabbed the job list my mother gave me out of my bag and started reading everything she wrote. I could tell that my mom wanted me to be a successful person with everything she jotted down here at the top of the list but as I read all the way down, I noticed that she took it easy on me. There were simple jobs on here like a cashier in this department store, a waitress at a restaurant, a receptionist, a saleslady, a barista, and to tell you the truth, the only job here that needed a whole lot of background and experience and an outstanding resume was a doctor, a dentist and a manager of this hotel or whatever. I smiled at the job list thinking that my mother finally realized exactly what I wanted in life and that maybe she understands me more now than she ever did before when I was but a little girl.

I examined the list at least three times before carefully deciding the first step in this new life of mine. In all honesty, I hardly thought about anything in my old life except for my mom of course but other than that, nothing. No Zack, Cassie/Addie, Alex, Jack, Rian, Mr. Anderson, not a single memory. It's like waking up and not remembering a single thing. Something like amnesia only I remember the most important parts about me and my life. I picked up the cordless that was automatically set up by my mother and the people she called and dialed the number beside the occupation I wanted. I set up an interview and they asked to see me on Wednesday at around 9 in the morning. I felt kinda happy once I put down the phone knowing that everything was going to be all right and then I looked at the clock. It was about 11: 37 A.M. and I was already bored I mean I could've done a lot of other things if my mother hadn't set everything up already so what I did was I observed the place.

Well to start off the observation, the house was a two story building with a complex shape. I didn't have four walls; I had like too many to count. When you get in the door, the first thing you see is a table with a bouquet of white roses against a wall with a mirror and on the left side, there is a coat hanger and in the far right, you can see the stairs leading up to the next story but if you walk right in the middle and face front, you'll be able to see a red couch on hardwood floor and a flat screen TV right in front of it. Beside the TV is an upright Baldwin piano. Beside that was a brown cabinet filled with all of my things. Like photos in frames, trophies and other awards I got in school. I didn't expect much or anything like this but it seems like my mom went all out this time. I looked at the piano once and smiled at myself knowing the house wasn't always going to be dead silent like it is now. I walked over to the left and headed in to the doorway and went in to the kitchen. There were all kinds of appliances here. A refrigerator, an oven, a stove, and a dishwasher. And they were all placed right beside each other on one side and on the other there was a door- heading to the backyard which I'm guessing a gardener was working on right now, a pantry, a counter filled with more kitchen appliances like a blender, a juicer and more things which I don't think I'll be using much. There was an island in the middle of the whole room and about three seats each in a different color and they were all screwed to the ground. I looked inside the cabinets on top the stove and other appliances and the drawers in the counter and noticed that I didn't need to buy any food for my solo survival. My mother seriously laid everything out for me. I went out of the kitchen and up the stairs to find my bedroom and there were like five separate rooms in this story and I guess the other three would have to be guest rooms but when I opened each one of them, I noticed that only two of them looked like bedrooms, one of them was a bathroom and the other one was empty. I didn't really know what to do with it so I just shut the door and went to where I was supposed to sleep.

When I went in my room, I noticed that the walls were painted in the lightest green possible and I can't believe that my mother knew my favorite color or maybe this was just a coincidence. Who knows? The floor was wooden and smooth and right in front of me was a king sized bed which was way bigger than I was. On the left side, there was a dresser filled with perfumes, cream, facial stuff, make up, and all those girly things and in the middle, a mirror. On the right side, there was another cabinet but this time it had a creamy color and right beside that was a door to possibly, the biggest bathroom I've ever seen. But it looked exactly like the old one I had when I was young. All the cabinets for all my clothes were there and if you walk ahead like maybe a dozen steps, you'll be able to see the door leading to the bathroom which had white tiles for the floor and all the bathroom appliances you'd see in an ordinary bathroom.

After I checked out the whole house, I went out of my room and down the stairs. I got the keys to my house and went out locked the door and drove off to see the rest of Essex, New Jersey.

[ZACK'S POV]

For the past few days, I've been ballistic and I was just really furious and aggravated about the situation I was in. I didn't expect anything like this to happen to me. Well I know that nothing ever goes my way but this was just out of line and crazy. Why did she have to leave and mess everything up? Was I chasing her away from the very beginning? But other than that, the only thought in my head was: Why did she have to make me fall in love with her? And why did she have to do it so fast? I mean I've watched so many things lately but I just happened to miss this one and well here I am regretting everything I've done to her and feeling oh so sorry for myself. I've been told that maybe if I didn't look for her, she'd come back but that's not possible. I mean how can you not look for something and expect it to come back? It's just stupid. Plain stupidity is what it's called. I've been doing that ever since the whole relationship started. I've hurt her more than once and I don't think I can forgive myself for that and now she's gone, she was the only thing that kept me on my feet and no I'm just wiped out.

I miss you, I thought just in case she'd hear me.


	19. Chapter 19

8 MONTHS LATER

[ZACK'S POV]

Tour starts today and well we're all pretty stoked. It's been eight months since the incident and let's just say that exclusively, I've moved on but inside, well, I don't think so. I've strived hard to get over it but somehow, some small things hold me back and it's quite annoying to say the least but that's how life goes for me. I never had a relationship since and I've never had any plans on doing so. I mean who needs heartbreaks and heartaches when you can mess around with anyone you want? Yes, I know I sound like a jerk and all but it's over between me and that girl and well, I'm a free man in a free country who's trying to get over a girl who crushed him into tiny pieces eight months ago. She was everything to me but well, not anymore. I constantly think about her but end up thinking about her death and her grave. Cruel, I know but if only you knew what the hell I've been through, you'd understand.

Our first stop was Essex, NJ. To tell you the truth, I don't know where the fuck she is and hell I didn't care. I didn't want to see her again for fear that she would only mess me up again and again. I hated the fact that I was actually scared. Like there was this feeling in the pit of my stomach that told me not to go on with this tour but touring is like my thing. It's my life. What the hell is a band member if that band member doesn't stand up for what he or she is? It's pointless to be in a band if all you do is sit around and toy with the instrument you play. You're not living by just sitting there and making music because no one will be able to hear it.

Okay, I'm going out of line here and I'm losing my point. So there's some weird feeling going on in my stomach. Probably it was just my nerves you know. I could be nervous I mean, I haven't been on a stage in front of thousands of people ever since the last tour which was about I don't know probably a year ago? Who knows? I don't keep track of time so I wouldn't.

"Hey Zack! You ready yet?" Rian called from down the stairs. Practically, all I was doing was sitting on the bed and looking out the window which showed a view of a forest of trees. I snapped out of my thoughts and shook my head at myself. I grabbed my bags and went down the stairs.

"Yea, I am." I said and both Rian and I walked out of the house.

I was bringing a backpack and a trolley bag. The tour was a month long and well I needed a lot of stuff but luckily I didn't carry like three or four bags like the rest of the guys. I loaded my stuff in the bus and went in and settled in my bunk. I handed my both my acoustic and bass guitars to the roadie the day before and well I didn't really have much to worry about anymore and with that, the pain in my stomach started to go away.

Once we picked up Alex and Jack, we headed down to Chili's to get a bite to eat and then we were off to New Jersey. While we were on the bus, Rian and Jack were playing with the PS3 and I was just lying down inside my bunk. So much for living in the moment. Probably, I was just tired. Maybe that's why I was feeling this way. I've excused myself from things with the wrong excuses and let myself get away with it every single time and it was stupid to say the least but hey, that's just the way it is.

"What's up with you?" Alex asked as he pushed the curtain aside. I had the lower left bunk and he owned the one across me so having a conversation with him was expected.

"Nothing," I lied.

"Sure, nothing's going on with you that's why you're in your bunk doing nothing," he said sarcastically. I rolled my eyes at him and he heaved a sigh.

"Fine, maybe something is up…" I trailed off. I didn't really want to talk about myself that much. I wasn't really in to that whole voice out my problems thing.

"So…" he said encouraging me to continue. I sighed before I sat up and faced him. There was no easy way out once you were talking to Alex. It's weird but somehow, I was never able to hide anything from him. Even the secret stash of candy I had in my house.

"Well, recently, the whole tour's got me thinking," I said rather hesitantly. He bobbed his head up and down waiting for me to continue. "I'm kinda afraid to maybe see her you know, I mean we are touring all around the country and there might me this slight opportunity that I might see her and maybe when I do, I'll be all messed up again-" I said but was interrupted when Alex murmured something like "Yea, like you're not messed up now," I shrugged it off and he looked up at me.

"Go on," he said and I nodded.

"What I'm trying to say is that I just wanna forget her and put her in the past where she belongs you know but somehow, things just find their way out of the box they were supposed to be in and end up haunting you til you say you give up and I don't want her back in my life. I want her existing only in my memories as a friend and nothing more." I said and to be honest with myself, I felt kinda bitter after spitting out those words. It was as if that anger I used to have was still there and was not locked up in a box as I said a while ago.

"Well, then don't let it get to you. Go find someone else who can make you happy," Alex suggested and I shook my head with an unexpected smirk on my face.

"I don't think anyone else can make me as happy," I said and he smiled.

"You don't know that yet," he said and for a minute there, I was lost in transition but once I gained my composure, I thought about what he said and well kinda agreed.

"You're right, I don't but I just don't want to go through the whole process all over again," I told him and yawned.

"Not everyone's the same you know. There's a whole variety of girls out there waiting to be picked up and you my man, are in need of some cheering up," he said and I cocked an eyebrow.

"Okay?" I said in some kind of confusion.

"You know what I mean," he said with a wink and then went to go bother Rian and Jack.

Did I really know or was I just too blind to see or too stupid to think about what Alex just said? Frankly, I didn't know what he meant but well, tomorrow's another day right and maybe, as the days will pass, I'll figure it out.


	20. Chapter 20

[BROOKE'S POV]

"Late again Ms. Rose?" my boss, Laurel Shore, said.

As you can see, I now have a job but I didn't get one that was related to music. I am currently a barista in a coffee shop named Panera Bread down 510 Prospect Avenue and it's been about I think 8 months. Time flew by fast here and I've gained new friends. As for relationships, I've never really wanted one. After the whole incident with Zack, I didn't really want to get hurt again so to prevent that, I try to stay away from anything unusual or out of the ordinary when it comes to boys.

"I'm so sorry, traffic is really slow today," I said not really telling the truth.

"One more and I might have to do something about your tardiness, Ms. Rose." She said letting me slide off the case.

I went to the back and punched my time card in. I put on my apron and proceeded to the counter where people were all lining up. I did the usual routine, take orders and receive everyone's payment and in return, giving them their receipt. I never really had any problems or issues with the way I work or the occupation itself, it's just that sometimes, it gets to repetitive and nothing surprising happens but I guess that's just how life goes. You can't really get everything you want all the time and I've come to realize that there will be ups and downs but that's what life is. It's filled with different kinds of obstacles. So all in all what I'm trying to say is that I'm bored with my life.

"So, anything new?" Kyle, my friend at work asked as he entered the shop.

"Nothing ever is," I said complacently. Again, life is boring.

"Hmm, that's odd," he said as soon as he was right in front of me.

"No, it's not and you're late too." I said stroking the tip of his nose with my finger.

"Traffic was slow," he said pretending to be angry and all.

"No it wasn't," I said stating the truth.

"How would you know that?" he asked cocking an eyebrow at me.

"Since, I came in late too." I said not afraid that tardiness was also one of my week points.

"Then I guess we're even," he said and went to the back to check himself in.

He came back with his apron tied around his waist and to be frank and honest, I admit he does look hot but well maybe if I am in the right mind again, I'll go out with him. Maybe I'm thinking way too ahead of myself I mean I don't even know if he likes me or not so bottom line: Forget about it.

We worked together and took turns in taking people's orders. Sometimes I prepared and sometimes, he did and well vice-versa. I didn't really grow tired of work while he was around. I mean he's practically the only reason why I look forward to work every morning. But who am I kidding? It probably won't work out or turn out to be a good idea. And so the wait begins.

I'm not quite sure what the wait is for but everyone has to wait for things to just play out in front of them, right? So that's what I plan to do.

[ZACK'S POV]

We reached NJ at about 5:30 in the afternoon and the first show isn't until tomorrow at eleven so we rented two hotel rooms at the Marriott that was closest to the venue. But we didn't rest up there. We figured that we'd have a lot of time later so we roamed around the city for awhile. We ended up stopping by the local coffee shop since we wanted something other than Starbucks. It's pretty stupid, right? Not wanting Starbucks at about 5:30 P.M. But who cares anymore? The name of the place was Panera bread and well I was pretty hungry so I was the first one to get out of the car we rented.

I stretched my limbs before heading inside. Alex, Jack and Rian were one step ahead of me already so I just lagged behind. When I opened reached for the door, they all came out and almost tackled me to the ground.

"We should've just went to Starbucks. Their coffee sucks," Alex said and grabbed my shirt from behind and practically dragged me back to the car.

"But you were there for only 1 minute," I complained taking his grip off of my shirt.

"Doesn't matter let's just get going," Rian said spinning around by holding my shoulders and applying a great amount of force to my hesitant body.

"C'mon guys, you're hiding something from me." I said maneuvering out of Rian's hold on my shoulders.

"You're only gonna get hurt, Zack." Alex muttered. I looked at his who looked back at me with anxious eyes.

"Are you saying…?" I trailed off and they all nodded knowing what I meant.

"Don't do this to yourself, Zack." Jack said and I sighed.

"Does she know?" I asked and they nodded again.

"Did she ask about me?" I asked wondering why I was above curious.

"Zack, it doesn't-" Rian tried to say but I interrupted. "Just answer the freaking question," I said getting all angry.

"She didn't she just saw us and then looked away," Alex said and I turned my head to the side. I didn't really know what to do.

"Should I go in?" I asked dumbly trying to figure out what I had to do from here.

"Normally, I'd say no but dude, it's your call." Alex said and silence filled the air. I thought long and hard about all this and then decided to do something I know I'd regret for probably a long time.

I turned around, away from the faces that were giving me anxious looks and headed inside. The doors weren't glass meaning they weren't see through so I had to get inside to really see if what they were saying was true.

As soon as I went in, I looked closely at the couple who were making out behind the counter quickly identifying Brooke. She was kissing another guy. My heart shattered in to pieces right then and there. Tears wanted to fall badly but I forced them not to. I know I shouldn't be all sentimental but well I guess this is a sign telling me that I haven't let go of her, that I still care. But as soon as saw her kissing another boy, I knew that it was definitely time for me to move on. I turned around quickly and headed out the door.

"Let's go," I demanded and looking at the ground as I walked. I didn't dare meet their faces that showed who knows what kind of look. I didn't care anymore but I knew exactly what I had to do and that was to move on.


	21. Chapter 21

[BROOKE'S POV]

"I'm sorry," I said as I pulled away. It took Kyle more than a minute to process everything that had just happened.

Well you see this was happened, after Alex, Jack and Rian came in the doors, shock raced through my veins knowing that Zack would be right behind them. I had to think quickly and do something so as not to make small talk or a silly and awkward conversation with him. Kyle was just washing some utensils and somehow, I panicked. When they rushed out the doors, I knew exactly what was about to happen next. Knowing Zack, he won't just let something weird pass him by. He had to check it out before actually leaving the scene. So I grabbed Kyle by the collar and kissed him just in time to watch Zack freeze and then slowly go out the door. For a moment there, I thought tears sprung from his eyes but I was too far away to actually see. Probably it was just the light or maybe there was something in my eye.

"Umm, what was that for?" he stuttered as he slowly started to regain composure.

"Ex-boyfriend," I said embarrassed. I never should have done that. I might need to look for a new job.

"Ah, I see," he said with some kind of bitterness in his town. He fixed his now wrinkled collar as he went back to the sink to actually do his job.

"Look, I'm really sorry, I just panicked." I said feeling bad about using him for wrong reasons. He is a great friend and I just disrespected him greatly and I feel awful for doing so. Damn, I hate adrenaline rushes. They make me do crazy things.

"Trying to show him you moved on?" he asked carrying the tray of washed utensils. "That's not always a good idea," he said and I looked down. He set down the tray on the table and was putting the utensils in the right drawers. At least I thought that was what he was doing.

To my surprise, a pair of shoes appeared right before me and a hand lifted my chin up. I was looking into his bright blue eyes and for a minute, we just stood like that and then I looked away. "Brooke, I know how you feel and I forgive you and with you, I don't care if I'm just the stupid rebound. For you, I'd do anything," he said and he was about to kiss me but I moved away.

"Look, I don't think I can handle another relationship," I said walking to the other end trying to look busy. I think I probably made the worst mistake of my life by turning down a really hot guy but at the end of every day, if I'm not happy with where I am, then what's my life for, right? If I'm not happy with it then why live?

"Then I can wait," he said and I turned to face him. Now that definitely caught me off guard.

"Kyle you don't have-"

"Trust me, I can and I want to wait." He said firmly as he walked towards me. I was starting to get scared. "Even if it took forever," he said taking one of my bare hands and kissing it.

I bit my bottom lip as he stared at me and gripped my hand tighter in a comfortable way. "Thanks," I said taking my hand out of his grasp.

He smiled at me and turned away so that the customer who came in wouldn't suspect anything. He served the customer and I gave him his order thinking about what he just said. Honestly, I've never heard anything more sweet and romantic and I have never heard of anyone say that in real life. And what's even more unbelievable is that it was me he would wait for. Truthfully, he deserved someone better. Someone who would take him without excuse whenever he asked or someone who would definitely care for him no matter what. All in all someone who would return his feelings in a greater amount. I just make tear him down and rip him to bits and even I don't know why. Zack already probably moved on already. I mean he seemed more buff and all. He probably worked out more but well who knows anymore? I'm sure I don't. Maybe his new girlfriend does though but why am I thinking of him now? This is getting crazier by the minute and I don't even know why. I just tend to make things complicated in really complex ways and it's getting on my last patient nerve.

I watched Kyle work his way around the counter and back and observed. Now I know I shouldn't judge him by his looks but even if I did, he'd still pass my qualifications. He was this slightly buff guy who was probably part of some kind of sports team in high school who had dark brown hair, blue eyes and a killer smile. His looks made road kill out of me and I refuse to go out with him? How could I be so rude? I surely don't know what I'm missing. Oh wait, one more thing I forgot to mention was that his kiss is perfect. It's as if he was sent from up above to try and make my life a little bit easier. I thought about so many things that could happen to us if we were together but shrugged them all off knowing that they'd never ever happen in this life time.

"Hey, Brooke, can you hand me your pen? Mine's all out of ink," he said and I nodded as I gave it to him.

"What are you going to do with a pen?" I asked curiously. Seriously, he didn't need one. All he did was punch items into the cash register and withdraw and deposit money. I don't see how a pen can fit in the picture.

"You'll see," he said winking cheerfully. I nodded and walked away wiping the counter.

I wondered about why he was so cheerful. I mean shouldn't he be mopey and all or maybe acting bitter around me? This was kinda unexpected and inappropriate but who am I to tell him what he should feel exactly? If he wants to be happy then I might as well let him be.

The day ended shortly after a tall bearded man left the shop leaving Kyle and I to close up. Laurel ran off like an hour ago because she had this thing with her family. I didn't really mind because she always left like that. I kinda got used to it so Laurel leaving like that wasn't much of a surprise.

I walked to the back and folded my apron and got my bag. I went out of the back room just in time to see Zack and Kyle in a conversation in the middle of the shop. Zack didn't seem all happy like Kyle. His eyebrows furrowed and met at one end and their conversation was heating up. Just when Zack was about to take the first blow, I ran right in front of Kyle and got hit in the gut. It knocked me over to the floor and for a second, my breath got shorter.

"Now look what you did!" Kyle said hovering over me as I was holding the painful part tightly.

I tried to speak but couldn't. "It's all your fault dumbass!" Zack exclaimed as he walked over to the other side.

"I wasn't the one who stuck a punch and hit her!" Oh this was going to be hard.

"If you just let me see her, this wouldn't have happened," Zack said through his teeth. I managed to get up on my knees. I crawled over to one of the chairs and sat up. I blinked rapidly trying to endure the pain but the blinking didn't help at all. It just made me sorta dizzy.

"Stop it," I whispered looking at the ground. No one seemed to answer so I looked up at both of them.

They were both looking at me nervously and I just took in deep breaths.

"Brooke, I didn't mean to punch you," Zack said bitterly but I can tell that he meant it although I wasn't quite sure.

"Uh, Kyle, I'll take it from here," I said and he walked to the back door. Well maybe stomped would've been a better word for it but either way he left us alone. I waited for him to exit the shop before I started to talk to Zack.

The pain didn't really wear off so I got up to get some ice but almost ended up falling on the floor. Zack prevented that and helped me walk over to the freezer so I could get some ice.

"Can you uh, get me a towel please?" I asked and he nodded. This was starting to feel a little odd.

"Where are they exactly?" he asked me with a less bitter tone.

"Drawer on your left," I directed and he got a white fresh towel and handed it to me. I opened the freezer and leaned on the wall for support. Once I got all the ice in the towel, I placed it against my stomach. His fists were like brass knuckles or maybe even worse. Either way I've never felt that much pain.

"So what did you want to talk about exactly?" I asked squinting every now and then as the ice stung my skin.

He heaved a sigh before starting a conversation. To be honest, I've missed him terribly but I really didn't want to be with him anymore, at least that's what I think. But I was really eager to know what he wanted to tell me. So I listened hoping this wasn't another way to get me hurt again.


	22. Chapter 22

[BROOKE'S POV]

"Why'd you leave like that?" he asked me as soon as we were both comfortably seated on chairs. God, he hasn't changed one bit. His scent, his physical appearance, his gestures, and his everything but maybe he buffed up a bit.

"Honestly, I don't really know," I said paying only half my attention to him. The rest of my focus was on the now bruised part of my stomach.

He seemed sort of impatient but I can't be blamed. He took a forceful blow that hurt like hell. It's as if you've been run over by a bullet train or something like that. This will surely leave a mark. He dimmed the surroundings with silence and it sorta made me look up and see what the hell he was doing. When I did look up at him, his elbows were on the table right in front of us and his hands were covering his face.

"What do you mean you don't know?" he asked aggressively. He started to get angrier by the second and at the same time, he was tearing up but the tears never fell from his eyes. He was that strong.

"Well, I thought you'd be better off without me," I said effortlessly. I was no good at dealing with situations like these. Sometimes I wish they taught you these things in school because if they did, I'd pay more attention to the discussions.

"Seriously, have you lost your mind?" he said furrowing his eyebrows.

"Zack, please, I don't want to make a mess here." I said looking away from him and playing with the now damp towel. I couldn't hold it up to my stomach anymore so I just folded it again and again.

"You're not taking this seriously are you?" he said getting up and snatching the towel away from me. That got me angry right there but I let my anger go. I wasn't supposed to be the one getting angry anyway.

"Sorry," I apologized as I sat up straight. I looked him in the eye and he looked right back at me. I was ready now.

"So, how are you going to explain yourself?" he asked cocking his head to the side. He was clearly way over angry and aggravated. Too bad I can't find a word for that though.

"Zack, when I wrote that letter, didn't you get it already?" I said with my tone spicing up a notch. He looked at me with wide eyes and I shook my head. "You didn't read-"

"Don't get me wrong, I did read the letter," he interrupted. "But I can't process it. In fact, I've never processed and understood it and when I saw you earlier today, I told myself to come back and ask you for a better explanation and so here I am." He said and I rolled my eyes.

"Zack, I don't want to make things any harder-"

"Just tell me why," he demanded cutting me off for the second time.

"I can't stand it there, okay? I mean I've tried to put up with your games but when I really paid attention, I noticed that once round 1 ended, there was always a round 2 and it never stops." I said. "It's like treasure hunting, you know. You never know what you're gonna get."

"So that's it? You moved away because you thought I was playing with you?" he said with a condescending tone.

"You were playing with me Zack," I said boldly.

"I can't believe after all these years, you still don't know me at all." he stated bitterly.

"Well, I can't argue with that because you've been hiding under a mask all your life Zack. How am I supposed to know which Zack is real?" I said getting up.

"Where do you think you're going?" he said getting up as well.

"Home," I said returning the bitterness he's been giving away all night.

"Your home is where I'm at." He said angrily.

"I'm not your property, Zack." I said walking out the door. But I couldn't be the first one out. I had to lock the place.

"You're not going anywhere," Zack said grabbing me by the wrist. He spun me around so I faced him.

"Zack, this is stupid. Let me go." I demanded but he ignored my command.

"I'm sorry! Is that what you wanted to hear from me?" he exclaimed.

"Zack, it's too late for that now," I said using my other hand to get rid of the hand Zack used to grip my wrist.

"No it's not," he said softly. He was on the brink of breaking down and if I pushed him away further, he might just well up in more tears and burst.

"Zack, I have to get going." I whispered to him but he really didn't get anything I said.

"So you can go fool around with that boyfriend of yours?" Zack said and that totally caught me off guard.

"No, so I can get some rest." I said and he looked at me with confusion all over his face.

"Stay with me, please," he begged. He was about to get on his knees but I didn't let him get to that point.

"Okay, okay," I said giving in. There was still no smile on his pretty face so maybe he was dead serious.

I locked the place up before I went out with of the shop with him. I knew that from the minute I stepped out the door that this was surely a bad idea but that never stops me from doing something hectic now does it? He grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly as he hailed for a taxi.

"Zack, I have a car." I informed him and he put down his arm. I walked to the parking lot and unlocked my car.

"Can I drive?" he asked and I gave him my keys.

"Sure," I said. We got in our sides and then we were off

"Where are you planning to take me?" I asked curiously as the car moved to the asphalt.

"Back to the hotel." He said and I shut my mouth. I didn't want to have to argue with him so I just let him drive to the "hotel"

The rest of the drive was spent in complete silence. I paid attention to the road so I'd know where I had to go to get back home. I felt his eyes on me and back ahead as I watched the road. Clearly he wanted to say something but it couldn't come out. I wondered about what exactly he wanted to tell me but I think it's better if I didn't know. It could be something bad and yet again, it could be something good but I'm not counting much on the good side.

We reached the Marriott hotel in West Orange after about 20 minutes. Silence kept us from talking to each other the whole time. Once he switched off the engine, he handed me my keys and then I got out of my side and he did the same. He again took my hand and walked inside. I didn't know why he held my hand a lot. Probably he thought that if he didn't, I might run away and drive away as fast as I can. But no, that wouldn't happen. We rode the elevator to the ninth floor. He practically dragged me to his room. Once he got the door open using his card key, he let go of my hand and let me in first. His expression was still sullen and gloomy. I didn't understand why exactly that was but I couldn't ask him why.

"Brooke, can you please give me another chance?" he asked as he sat beside me on the bed.

"What do you mean?" I asked. That surprised me.

"I want you to be with me, Brooke. I can't survive any longer." He said and though it was kinda cheesy, it was still pretty sweet.

"Zack, I told you," I said restlessly as I tried to tell myself that I'd only get hurt once again. "I think its best if we-"

"Please, Brooke?" he said getting up and standing right in front of me.

"Can you give me time to think it over at least?" I said in a whiny tone. He sighed heavily as he nodded.

"So what now?" he asked and clearly, I myself didn't know what to do at this point. But one thing ran across my mind:

_Just say yes_.


	23. Chapter 23

[BROOKE'S POV]

We ended up just sitting there waiting for some time to pass while I 'thought'. Well, to tell you the truth, I wasn't really thinking I think what I was really doing was stalling. I was afraid to move because I thought that if I did, he'd think that I finally thought it over. But all I really wanted to do was go home and give this all a rest. I was tired and in pain and I wasn't in the right mind to think straight. I think I might've made him really impatient because every now and then, I heard him take in deep breaths and let out tired and exasperated sighs. I didn't want to be the one to break the silence but well, I can't always get what I want now can I?

"Zack," I said and his head snapped towards me. I wasn't quite sure about what to say next so I paused.

It took him a while to get that I clearly had nothing to say so awkward tensions started filling the air before he started to say anything. "Yea?"

"Can I g-go home?" I stammered. I wasn't really that brave to actually talk to him after the large amount of time that passed us by.

He sighed. "I guess," he said and he stood up.

I stood up as well and grabbed my bag which was on the table and put up the chairs we used. He just stood there looking at me and not bothering to help. The cloth that I used as some kind of treatment to the bruise he made was still in his pocket. He put it there when he snatched it away from me and I wasn't courageous enough to ask it back from him because well, he might strike another punch and this time blow me away. I know that he really didn't mean to sock me in the stomach but if you try to think about it, if we get back together and maybe have another argument, will he try to do that again? I mean like physically abuse me to the extent that blood would start gushing out of me and I'd be rushed in to an ER in the hospital? Now, I know that that's stupid and that would never happen but you never really know. He's already tried abusing me so there's no reason why he won't do it again. But then again maybe I'm just over analyzing everything and besides, we weren't getting back together, not yet at least.

"I'll see you tomorrow then?" he asked putting his hand on the handle of the door.

"Oh-uh, yea I guess." I stuttered and he showed me a small smile before walking out the door.

To tell you the truth, watching him go sort of hurt me. I didn't know why but all of a sudden, my eyes started to well up and everything I had tried to forget just blasted out of the dumpster in my head and put on a re-run. I had a lot to think about and tonight wasn't going to enough. As I locked everything up and cleaned up, I started walking to my car and thought about everything that had just happened. I drove home with so many thoughts in my head that I ran through a red light. Luckily, there were no police lurking around the streets and looking for any kind of trouble that would make their jobs a tad bit interesting.

I parked my car in the garage and went up to my room. I didn't really want to change or anything so once I crashed on the bed with my face down, I started crying my eyes out. I thought about so many things that I just wanted to burst. I kept trying to push them all away but I always ended up failing and letting the tears take its course. All the pain I have tried to shun away just kept on coming back. All the times he has hurt me and all the times I just let him. Probably I just deserved it but this was just too much for me. The way he looked tonight, it just blew me away completely and the way he tried to win me back and me saying 'let me think about it' just tore me apart. I can't believe that I tried to push him away again while he was trying to tell me that he wanted me back. This might be a little crazy and hypocritical in my part but somehow, I want us to be together again. I want it to be just him and I again spending time together and just making the most out of every day we were alive. I just wanted to remember how his arms felt around me and how his lips grazed mine as we kissed and how every word he has ever spoken to me tingle down my spines and give me those cliché love symptoms that I've been longing for these past 8 months I've felt numb. Maybe that's really how I felt, numb. I've never wanted to be in a relationship with someone else other than Zack and I've never really felt anything for anyone until he came back. Maybe he was the only one for me. Maybe we were really meant for each other and maybe this was just some kind of phase in our relationship but I'm thinking more of the good side and less of the bad. I also have to consider the fact that he might do something foolish and rip me apart again. I don't want that to happen to me.

So as these thoughts circled around my head, tears kept flowing from my eyes and well I wanted to make the crying stop so I closed my eyes and lay on my pillow and tried to get some sleep.

The next morning, I woke up before the alarm clock rang. I didn't really care much anymore but my eyes were stinging like hell. I couldn't even face the light for so long. It was weird at first but then again that's what you get when you cry yourself to sleep at night so the stinging and the bags beneath my eyes weren't a mystery. I ran my hand through my blonde disheveled hair and went into the bathroom to take a bath. The heat of the water that came out of the shower somewhat comforted me and eased the endless thoughts that were running around my head and I started dilly dallying inside. There was one part of me that wanted to call in sick and there was another part of me that wanted to face him once more the first part one. I'm not brave enough remember? Therefore, I cannot face my fears.

I called Lauren up and faked a cold. She bought it as soon as I told her I wasn't feeling well and said "You should get some rest dear. You've been working your butt everyday so you might as well take the day off," She said in a very concerned way. I told her that I'd go back as soon as I could possibly can and she told me to take my time. You know, I've never seen or heard of this side of my boss before but I shrugged it off. At least I get a free pass.

I thought I was totally free and safe in my house. I thought that now that I'm not anywhere public, I was more or less safe from being seen. But once I went down to eat for breakfast, someone started knocking on my door…


	24. Chapter 24

[ZACK'S POV]

Once I woke up in the morning after playing a show the night before, I started thinking about Brooke again and again. It's like everything I could possibly think about was her. We didn't have that much time left here in New Jersey. We only had about a day before we left for Boston, Massachusetts. I wanted to wait for her, I really wanted to and I knew that if I just left, she'd probably just forget about me again for probably a longer period of time and I really don't want that to happen ever again. She's my everything and I want her to love me as much as I love her so this was how my day went.

I got up at about 8 in the morning which was pretty unusual for me since I sleep til noon. I got up and took a bath and left the hotel room before anyone else woke up. I quickly ran down the hall and pressed the down button for the elevator. I waited for it impatiently as I held the button down. I know that by doing that, all it's gonna do is destroy the button and the elevator won't come up faster but I was desperate and I really wanted to see her again. She had told me to wait but someone like me can only hold such a small amount of patience at a time like this. Desperate and needy, I went out of the hotel doors in the lobby and got in to my car and started my adventure. Now, I didn't know where she lived but I did know where she worked so I drove down the street in that familiar route to Panera Bread.

I got there faster than expected because of not following the traffic rules. I didn't really worry though since I received nothing from any officer on the road so I was safe most probably. I looked around as I walked in the front door and saw customers with sleep slapping them across the face. My stomach started grumbling so I walked over to the counter to get something to eat. Once I had chosen from the menu selection, I went to the cashier and told her what I wanted. She quickly pressed buttons and punched in my order then she asked for my money and I paid her knowingly.

"Uh, excuse me miss but do you know anyone here whose name is Brooke Rose? She works here." I asked her after she set my tray on the table. No one was behind me in the line so I guess it was okay to mingle.

"Yea, I do but she called in sick today." She said writing some things down on a piece of paper. "But here's her address. You seem like you know her so go visit her." She handed the small paper to me and I nodded to her in acknowledgement and gratitude.

I wouldn't want anyone giving away my address like that but at least I know where she lives now right?

I walked over to an empty booth and mixed milk, cream and sugar in the coffee I ordered. As I stirred, I kept thinking about what I was going to do once I was there at her front step already. I mean what will I do when she opens the door? What shall I ask her? I don't even have anything to talk to her about so why even bother? I was definitely losing it mentally. I wasn't thinking anymore and I wasn't planning or anything. I mean I could have made up at least a thousand hundred excuses but right now, nothing's in my head. I couldn't believe exactly what I was feeling and thinking. I couldn't possibly go up to her and ask her if she wanted to be together or not. That would be pressure on her part and I'm sure she of all people does not want to be pressure especially by me so maybe I should just let her go.

I ate my ham and cheese croissant and drank my coffee and thought about more and more things to say to her. I could tell her that I was just stopping by or maybe I could tell her that my friend used to live in the same house but that would be lying to her and I really don't want to do that because until this day, I feel very, very guilty. It's like I have this really big bag of guilt in my head that weighs around a million pounds and no matter how many times I try, I can't move it because she doesn't forgive me. I can't believe I actually fell in love with the person who has been my best friend ever since I was a child and to think that I was the one who broke her heart and made her move away from her home town is just a big blow to my face and since then, I haven't recovered from that blow, not yet at least. But without her forgiveness, I can do nothing. So once I cleared all my thoughts up and stopped wasting the precious time that I had left here in New Jersey. I got up and left the premises and drove to the nearest flower shop.

I got her a bouquet of roses to match with her last name but that wasn't the real reason why I wanted to get her roses. Her favorite flowers were white roses and she's always loved them since she was but a little girl and everyday, when we used to passed by her neighbor's house – the one who grew lots of roses – I used to snatch the first white one I saw just for her but back then, I used to get it because she asked me to but if I could go back in time, I could probably do it without consent. I'd do it for the sake of making her happy.

I drove to the address on the small piece of paper stopping as I drove along. I asked people for directions and they quickly gave it to me without hesitation. People were so friendly here for some weird reason that it almost freaked me out. When I thought I was in the right place, actually when I was certain, I walked up to the front door and knocked on it. I just stood there with a bouquet of flowers feeling awkward and getting that unfamiliar feeling that I've never felt in my life. If someone blames me for like Brooke, that person shouldn't be pointing the finger at me. He or she should be pointing the finger at Brooke. Why? Because it's her fault that she's pretty and that she's everything I could possibly ask for. Now that's not necessarily a bad thing and I know I'm being crazy but that's what love is. It's irrational by heart and it's senseless in most ways possible. If you were to ask me what love was, I probably couldn't answer you. It's like asking what water tastes like. It's this question that you can't seem to find an answer to. Somewhat similar to what I'm about to ask Brooke when she opens the door.


	25. Chapter 25

[ZACK'S POV]

I didn't really want to shock her at her doorstep but her eyes spelled out shock as soon as she saw me standing at her door with a bouquet of flowers in my hand. How was I supposed to ask her now? Probably later would be a better time. She stood there for a while processing my very being before she said anything. She asked me to come in before the actual greeting was made. I didn't really think she'd let me in. I thought she'd slam the door right at my face but turns out I was wrong. Which makes wonder, have I always been wrong? I don't get it anymore. Everything is so messed up. Wait, everything was messed up but I guess being here changed all that. For some reason, being here with her makes everything feel like its all good and it makes me feel like I've never had a single moment wherein I've regretted anything in my life. It's weird in itself and I have no reason to feel like this and well…I just don't seem to know anything anymore. It's as if I was struck by lightning and I forgot everything except what happened between the both of us. And as the scenes play over and over in my head, I try to imagine the future and what it might be like if we stayed together til we were standing on canes and sitting on rocking chairs talking about this very moment and all the moments we've had and we're about to have. It's that kind of thought where you know you're already going to spend the rest of your life with the person you like and have no regrets or whatsoever. It seems more like the thought I can never have if this doesn't work out.

"What are you doing here?" she said suddenly after politely receiving the flowers I gave her and placing them in a vase that was half filled with water.

"Well, I just wanted to ask you something," I said nervously as she raised one eyebrow at me.

"What is it?" She asked and weirdly she didn't have a blunt attitude towards me.

"Out of all the things we've been through and out of all the times we've spent chasing each other down, all the times we've picked each other up and told each other to get up and look sharp and all the times we've actually laughed at one another and cried on each other's shoulders as kids, all the moments we have shared and all the times we spent with each other, if I may ask you just this one question, would you answer it honestly?" I asked and she nodded as she bit her bottom lip. "With all the words I have spoken, I just want to know, do you still love me as much as I love you?" I asked her and moved towards her grabbing both her hands and they were warm against mine.

She cleared her throat once it came to her that I actually wanted her to answer my question. "Zack, I'm not sure about what to say anymore. To tell you the truth, yes, I do love you but I'm not sure if the feeling is mutual." She said slowly slipping her hands off mine as my face began to demolish itself.

"Wh-what?" I stammered as I demanded an explanation.

"I mean out of all the times you have hurt and out of all the times I have forgiven you and watch you do the same things over and over again, I can't be certain about anything anymore with you." She said moving back a bit.

"Brooke, plea-"

"No Zack, I'm sorry but I just can't." she whispered softly after she cut me off.

I was disappointed to say the least and I felt my heart bend on its side and slowly break in to a million pieces. It was really over and she was never coming back. I was walking towards the door as she let me out and I walked along the asphalted walkway in between lawns and for some reason, there was this feeling deep in my gut that she'd come and stop me and admit that she was mistaken but all she did was stand there by her door and see me off. Nothing more than that happened and I just couldn't get why she was being so stubborn. Maybe I just assume too much and maybe I assume way less than expected but out everything I have done and said today, can't she feel an ounce of what I'm feeling right at this moment? Does she really have to spoil everything because I really don't get it anymore than she does. I thought that she would still love me. I thought that she'd have just a bit more patience with me. I thought she understood me well but then again and I say this once more, I was wrong.

I've never felt so rejected in my life and I can't believe she just did what she did. As I drove around my car, I knew that this wasn't over yet and I knew that after the tour, I had to come back but the only question is for what? If I did come back what will I come back for when it's clear enough that she doesn't want to be with me and she never will. I've hurt her in all ways possible and who wants a guy like that? I feel so stupid now for actually thinking that she might take me back for the same reason I want her to be with me. It's stupider than not knowing the alphabet at this age.

I had to leave for Vancouver tomorrow and I'm not sure if I should come back. I would if I wanted to but I have no reason to come back so what's the point, right? She has the perfect life here. The kind of life that won't remind her of me so I might as well get out of here and respect the reason of her moving here. My being here just ruins the whole point and if I stay, she might have to keep moving away and that guy in that coffee shop seems to like her so he might as well take my role and take care of her and live the dreams I think of.

But am I really giving up now? Am I just throwing it all away? If I were to answer that question, the answer would most probably be a positive one and well let the regrets begin.


	26. Chapter 26

[BROOKE'S POV]

So there I was watching him go. I wanted to stop him and say the very same things he wanted me to say but my body wouldn't let me. I didn't want to get sucked back into the deep hole he made while he and I were together but at the same time there was clearly no way I could let it go.

Tears streamed down my face as he walked into his car and drove away. I wanted him to at least look back and ask me one more time but he didn't. I guess it really wasn't meant to be.

As I wiped my tears from my face, knowing that there was no way he would return, I told myself that the only way to move on was to get of all the things that reminded me of him. That's right, you heard me, I'm moving on and I'm not planning to look back.

I looked around my house for some things that he had given me and placed them in boxes. I wasn't going to give them to a local charity or give burn them. I was just going to place them in a box and hide them in a closet.

I started my search in my room since this is where I spend lots of time in. I found some old stuffed toys, an old sweater he had given me during winter when I was cold and had nothing to warm myself with, the shirt he brought back from tour, the little container he made for my pens and stuff when we were young and some picture frames he gave me for presents before since he didn't really know what to give me. But that was only the start of my treasure hunt. There were more things I had to stuff in boxes in the other parts of my house. I even had to put away the flowers he bought for me since I couldn't stand looking at them. I placed one flower in the box as I closed it and taped the top. Then, I got a permanent marker and wrote "ZACK" on the front and "DO NOT OPEN" on the tape that was keeping the box shut. I stuffed it away in the closet and hid it behind the other crap that I didn't really need.

Once all that was done, I stepped outside and sat on my front porch and watched the sun while feeling the warm breeze that grazed my skin. I shut my eyes telling myself over and over that it was all going to be okay.

[ZACK'S POV]

I hoped on the plane and said nothing to the others as they took the seats beside me. I was going to get through this one way or the other. I plugged in my iPod and drifted away to the very songs that we were about to play once we landed in Vancouver. It took me a while to realize that as I was staring out the window, I was thinking about running her over with a monster truck and watch as her guts spill out of her mouth. Man, is that an ugly picture. I shoved the thoughts away immediately knowing that that was a bad way to deal with the current situation. When Alex saw me cringe in my seat, he cocked an eyebrow and tapped me on the shoulder making me turn away from the window.

"What's up man? You've been silent the whole time." He said and I pointed at my earphones showing him that I was actually trying to 'prepare' for the show. He rolled his eyes at me but let me have my way.

Half an hour into the flight, I was already fast asleep with soft music in my ears. I told myself that maybe sleep was the solution for all this. And so I let myself believe.

_3 HOURS LATER_

"Dude get up," Alex's faint voice called out as he nudged me.

Everyone was getting up and exiting the plane and I was the only one strapped in. I took out the buckle that was locking me in place and got up and moved out of my aisle. I got my knapsack from the cabin on top and made my way into the airport. I went through security ahead of everyone of else as I looked for coffee. There were 3 hours before the show and I'm not half pumped yet. I needed some caffeine to do that for me – pump me up I mean.

I was about to get sugar from the confectioner's corner when someone bumped into me from behind.

"Oh I'm sorr-" the young girl, probably my age said and stopped midsentence most probably knowing who I am. "Are you…?" she trailed off and I raised my eyebrows just looking at her.

"Oh my gosh, I'm talking to Zack Merrick, bassist of All Time Low, born in Towson, Maryland but now resides in Huntington beach, California." She said wide eyed.

I couldn't help but let out a small smirk at all that information she probably got out of the internet. "I'm impressed," I finally said and she blushed.

"I'm a really, really big fan." She stated as if it wasn't clear already. But I didn't want to be rude so I just nodded and smiled like how we do it when we sign for some people. "Can I get a picture with you?" she asked almost sounding desperate.

"Why not?" I said waiting for her to get her camera. Once she fished it out of her bag, we both squeezed in for a shot and once the camera flashed, the picture had been taken. What was so cool about everything was that her camera wasn't one of those digital ones; it was a Polaroid so once she took a shot, the picture shot out of the printer and she fanned the photo and the picture showed.

To be completely honest, if she didn't surprise me by sharing everything she knew about me – or maybe just one fourth of everything – she would've been really pretty and cool but I guess it doesn't matter since she's just another fan… or maybe she could be something more.

"Do people still sell those here?" I asked directing my question to the Polaroid she was now stashing inside her bag.

"No, this was my grandpa's but I kept it safe since I thought it was really cool. I mean where can you find a camera that can print pictures out right away, right?" she said and I smiled.

"What's your name?" I asked almost immediately.

"My name's Annabelle Bordeaux."


	27. Chapter 27

Annabelle Bordeaux. What is with her that can be so special? What's in her that can be so different from all the other girls I met? Why am I so strung out on her? Why was it so hard for me to go on with the show without getting butterflies in my tummy? Was I in love with her? I didn't know exactly how I felt but I was willing to find out.

The show went quite well and the crowd had been very much alive. They sang throughout the whole concert and they were loud – really loud. They made it feel great to be on stage and they made me feel loved. I know that most fans would probably choose the others over me but being on this stage with Alex, Jack and Rian was just amazing today.

I looked out to the crowd hoping to find Annabelle but I couldn't see much since the lights glowed too much and all it made me see were silhouettes and shadows. I was disappointed at that for some reason but the show had to go on.

After about a couple of hours, the show was through and we were free. We couldn't sign today since security wouldn't let us and that just blows. Once we were through washing off all that sweat and changing our clothes, we headed to a hotel. We couldn't go to an after party since we were so damn tired.

I had a separate room from all the rest. I don't know why they let me have my own room but I guess there's no use complaining right? For some reason, when I shut my eyes, all I can think about is that girl. I really don't get it but it is how it is. She was there running from one end of my head to another. It was weird that I could actually imagine these things in my head but maybe it's not a bad thing. Maybe having a vast imagination can actually get me somewhere. But as I drifted to sleep, I thought about meeting her again somewhere in Vancouver. I needed to know her. It was this feeling deep in you where you know that you need to do something and this was one of those things. I know I won't regret this. I feel it deep inside my bones. I feel like there's something in her that I just need to know more about. It's a weird feeling but hell, right now, it doesn't even matter. But I guess that's love. When love comes along, not even the smallest things will matter to you.

I woke up to a knock on my door. I groaned for a while but knocks just wouldn't stop. After a while of knocking, I got up and opened the door since I was too sleepy to look through the peephole. It was just room service saying that I had some letters from some people. I took all of them from the basket he was holding – and trust me there were a lot – and thanked him. I shut the door as soon as he left. I placed the letter on my bed and rubbed away the sleep in my eyes. I stared at the letters for a while and moved some of the envelopes aside so that I could count how many I had to read. I opened one letter and noticed that it was empty. That's weird. I placed the envelope aside and tried opening another one. This time there was something inside. I didn't know who it was from but that was no reason not to read the letter. Whoever wrote this though had a really neat hand writing.

_Hey Zack, _

_ I don't really know if you'll remember me but I hope you do. Anyway since you're probably busy with other things and won't have time to read a really long letter, I just wanted to give you something to remind me of me. If ever you really don't care anymore, just throw everything away. I don't really know why I'm being sorta pessimistic but I don't know it's just how I people like you – famous people. Anyway, some of the envelopes are empty because I just wanted to puzzle you. Haha. If you think its lame then bleh I don't know what to say anymore but I just want you to know that you guys played a great show last night and I love the songs you guys played. _

_ Hope you continue rocking my world. I'll be praying for more music. _

_ XOXO._

That was the only thing on the signature. There was no return address or whatever on any of the envelopes. I opened the rest of the letters and saw that in some there had been photographs – the ones that only Polaroids printed out. It was from Annabelle. I couldn't believe it. She was there in the show.

The pictures showed me playing the bass and staring at the crowd. I guess I was looking for her then. She was right in front. How could I not see her? I checked the back of that photo and luckily, she wrote down her number. I smiled to myself realizing that there might be hope for this. I called her right away and waited for her to pick up. It ended up busy but I guess it's understandable seeing that it's only 8 in the morning. Damn that guy who woke me up this early. Oh well, at least it's all for a good cause.

I took a quick shower before redialling her number. After a few rings, she picked up.

"Hello?" she greeted on the phone with an anxious voice.

"Is this Annabelle?" I asked and at this she tried hard to hold back her screams but they just came right out. But at least she still had the conscience to scream away from the receiver.

"Z-zack?" she stammered.

"Yes?" I said and she held her breath for a while.

"You wanna, uh, maybe hang out some time? You know when you're not busy or anything." She asked nervously.

"Sure. I don't think we're doing much today so where will we meet?" I asked and I could almost hear her smiling through the phone.

"I can come by if you want." She said.

"How do you know we're staying here?" I asked her and she smirked.

"I have my sources." She said and I shrugged it off.

"Okay, I'll see you in the lobby then." I said and then we both hung up.

I fixed myself in the mirror and changed into something casual. I went out my door with everything I needed and headed down to the lobby through the elevator. I was about to head into the lobby when I saw Jack hugging Annabelle. That bugged me somehow but she is a big fan so I guess it's not really a big deal.

I took a deep breath before starting towards her. I knew that this day was going to be special and nothing was going to ruin it but as I greeted her and as my phone vibrated, seeing the caller, I knew I couldn't go through this day without having a frown on my face.


	28. Chapter 28

"Excuse me for a while," I told her as I moved aside, away from everyone I knew.

I didn't want them to know who I was talking to and after this call, I might not be able to abstain myself from feeling sad but I needed to know something from this person and that's why I thought it would be better if I talked to her right now.

"Hello?" I said through the ball in my throat. I couldn't believe she'd call me again. Or at least speak to me ever again.

"Zack?" Brooke's voice chimed in from the other line.

I didn't know what to say so I just stayed silent. Apparently, she got the message and told me why she called. The reason behind her surprising call was that she still had feelings for me but she was confused. I'm not being vain or anything, I'm just being honest. When she called, I thought she was drunk and wanted to tell me how shitty I've treated her and crap like that but she wasn't drunk and she wasn't ranting and telling how much of an asshole I was to her. I mean I did expect that since, well, it was true but this was totally unexpected. I was staring aimlessly at the people who came in the lobby as I thought about what she said. She told me that she had made an utterly huge mistake and that she wanted to make it up to me. She was crying halfway through the statement. How was I going to explain to the guys that she had planned on joining us on tour and what about Annabelle? This was all going too fast for me. My head was spinning and I couldn't look away from the entrance/exit door.

I knew this wasn't going to end well but I had to tell her the truth.

"Brooke, listen to me. You'll get over me and find someone better okay? Coming to Canada to prove that you still have feeling for me is crazy. I'm sorry if you find what I say offensive but, I can't be with you anymore." There I said it.

She started to go silent and after a second, she put down the phone with not another word said.

[BROOKE'S POV]

I was in a Canadian airport with bags in hand. I was crying and I was looking at my phone thinking he'd call me back but he didn't. Stupid, stupid, stupid girl trying to chase a stupid fucked up guy. I can't believe I even thought about being together with him again. I thought I learned my lesson. I thought that maybe I was over him but all my thoughts were wrong and I wanted to prove to him that I was strong and that I still loved him. Little did I know that he wouldn't take me back. Was I worthless to him? Was I too much for him? Did he find someone else to love? Is he over me? Does he still think about me at night? I want to know so many answers but so far he answered only two. He didn't love me anymore which meant he was over me.

I was just there in the airport, sitting in the lounge as people watched me cry my eyes out. Luckily I sat at the side, away from the exit but I still caught people's attention. I guess I needed another plane ticket that would take me back home. What a waste of precious money that I earned from work. I just can't believe I spent it all on this. What a shitty day.

Something in me just wanted to scream and shout and go wild. I wanted to destroy something or at least pound on it. I was in the mood for total annihilation but there were security guards around and I was in Canada so destroying Canadian property was out of the question for me. I sighed but it didn't make me feel any better so I stood up, bags in hand and walked to where they sold the plane tickets. I was about to line up when suddenly someone put a hand on my shoulder.

I turned around to face the most handsome face I think I've ever seen.

"Oh, sorry I thought you were someone else." He said and looked at with concern as he took in the tears in my eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, umm, you don't have to worry." I croaked out. It was embarrassing but well there was really nothing else I could do.

"I don't mean to pry but, what happened?" he cocked his head to the side and gave away a concern to a stranger who he thought was someone he knew. It was odd how he actually started asking why I was crying.

I told him that he shouldn't worry about it but he insisted so I told him. I told him about Zack and I and our relationship. Since we took time to talk, we ended up sitting on the chairs in the waiting area. Oddly, he was interested about the drama that sprouted in my life. I just thanked God someone actually wanted to listen to me.

"Why do you still want to be with him after all that?" he asked me as his beautiful green eyes shot through mine.

"I don't know. Most probably because I'm foolish enough to think that he might want to be with me again." I said looking down at the tiles on the floor.

"Don't say that. I mean there are plenty more guys out there for you. He's probably not the right one." He said encouraging me to smile but that wasn't hard seeing that he had the most handsome face I've seen in a while.

He ruffled his dark brown hair as he smiled that crooked perfect smile of his. I gave him a small smile as I looked up at the board showing the flights. I checked the flight time from here to New Jersey but there were no more flights available until tomorrow at nine.

"You going somewhere?" he asked as he looked at me intently.

"Well, I guess I might as well go back home." I said sighing feeling a tad bit better now that he was here.

"But you just got here." He stated. True, but how did he know that?

I cocked an eyebrow at him. "How did you know that?" I asked and he gave a big smile.

"Well, I sorta saw you on the plane. I wanted to talk to you then but you seemed troublesome and I didn't want to bother you so I just waited until we got out from the plane." He said sheepishly.

"So when you approached me near the line-"

"Well, that was sort of a pick up line," he said feeling all smug.

_Smooth move, _I thought to myself.

"My name's Chace," he said extending his hand for me to shake. "Chace Antoine Bordeaux,"

"My name's Brooke," I said shaking his hand. "Brooke Rose,"

"I know we just met and all but the airport is getting sorta crowded. You want to go get something to eat?" he asked me and I smiled and nodded and enthusiastically.

He made me forget about Zack in record time. How amazing is that?


	29. Chapter 29

To find two people who have the same heart isn't a mere coincidence. It's one of the greatest miracle and we're only lucky that it happens everyday.

I don't really know what this line means to me but someday, I predict, it will mean a lot.

I think I might've thought that Zack was the right one for me but obviously our hearts didn't beat as one. They were different and well I guess its only part of the journey of life. I had to live and learn and go through different obstacles. I had to do them all to get to where I was and so far, that hasn't disappointed me. As of now, I have no regrets. With a friend by my side and a new place to start a new adventure, I think I might as well live life by the moment and go wherever the breeze allows me to go.

It was only yesterday where I was left in the airport crying my eyes out hoping that at some point, the guy I once thought would be mine forever would take me back. But then I realized that with him, forever is just another word found in the dictionary. It might have a meaning there but outside that reference book, it was just another lie thrown all over the place waiting for someone to fall for it and get hurt because of it. But that call I made yesterday gave me a clear realization. He wasn't the right one for me. I know I'll find him someday but right now, I guess I have to stick with what I do know: wait. Wait 'til some guy comes around and tells me that just one smile of mine lights up his day. A guy who tells me that it's okay when I make a mistake because he knows that I'm not perfect. Someone who sees beyond my imperfections and tells me that because of them, I'm the loveliest girl he has ever seen. But since he hasn't arrived in my life yet, I have to keep my patience and well, hope for the very best.

But it was also yesterday that I found a friend who helped me through all of the rough patches on the road I was walking on. He cleared a new route for me and I've never been more eager to venture into it and see what lies ahead.

Today, I was supposed to board a plane and go back home. I was supposed to live the same life I've lived for the past how many months or years. Back then, I didn't think that it held much for me but now, now that I'm somewhere else, it somehow brightened my day and gave me hope. It gave me something to look forward to.

He asked me to stay and he made me stay in his apartment since he had and extra room and he was kind enough to offer it to me. I know it might sound a bit creepy but I had to take risks. I needed to take all the opportunities I could get. I lived most of my life with a close mind and now, finally, it's opening up and I'm glad it cracking up at the right moment.

You're probably thinking that he might be keeping me here because he had bad intentions but I didn't really feel any bad auras around him and he seems like a really nice and friendly guy. What's even better is that he knows how to cook and he likes to keep his place tidy.

He told me that the extra room was once owned by one of his buddies but he got married and moved somewhere else so from that day, he lived by himself. He told me that he was feeling kinda lonely so when we got to know each other more, he asked me to take it instead of having to spend my money on a cheap motel.

When I got inside the room, I was amazed by how clean it was. Not a speck of dust was found inside. The bed had no sheets on so I looked inside the cabinets and dressed the mattress up. Beside the bed was a bedside table and on it was a lamp. In front of the bed, right beside the bathroom was a study table. Maybe they lived here all throughout college, who knows? There were windows by the table and in gave me a view of the city. It looked so beautiful at night with all the lights and stuff. It was the perfect place really.

Since that night I was totally tired, I hopped on the bed and slept as the time flew by me.

"Good morning," he greeted as I got out of my new room and walked into the kitchen.

"Hey, what's cooking?" I asked looking over the island to see what he was cooking on the stove.

"Breakfast," he said and placed the food on two separate plates. He gave one to me and placed the other one on the island, across me.

After turning off the stove, he grabbed spoons, forks and glasses. He handed me a set and kept the rest for him to use.

"Want anything to drink?" he asked walking over to the fridge and opening it to see what was inside and trust me, there was a lot.

I just asked for water and then dug into my scrumptious breakfast that consisted of a sunny side up egg and strips of bacon. You might think that it was simple and stuff but there was something different about it. I don't know it might be because I was in Canada. Or maybe it's the recipe he used. Well I didn't really care enough to ask so I just kept silent as I ate my meal.

"That was heavenly," I told him with a satisfied smile as I reached for my glass and drank its contents.

"Thanks," he said with a wink. "If you want, you can go freshen up. I'll tidy up here for you."

"Wow, I've never met such a neat freak," I joked.

"Well, I'm not a total neat freak. My mom sends out a maid every week to keeps things tidy. That sorta explains the really clean room." He looked at the floor while he was talking. Was he actually embarrassed about that?

"I see," I said as he raised his chin up to look at my reaction. "But I can help you if you want," I offered but he raised a hand up.

"I'm the host and you're the guest," he said. "Go take a shower or something. We have to start your 'adventure' remember?" I had to smile at that.

Last night, before I went to bed we shared stories. I made sure I didn't leave anything out. So that means I also told him about wanting to start anew in a new place. But I didn't really explain a lot about who Zack is and stuff like that. I just told him that he was the one who broke my heart and he's the reason why I'm here. I think that's all I practically said about him.

He told me about his family and told me how lucky they were to have a great business. He's one of those rich kids who wants to be free from his parents and their demands. He told me that living with them was too much for him so as soon as he graduated from high school, he got his own place and started living on his own but it's no surprise that his mom still looks out for him. I mean I could say the same for my mom too, you know.

"You know, if you keep this up, I'd most probably end up living here," I said and he laughed.

"Well, since now that we know each other more, I think that won't be much of a problem." He said and I smirked.

I made my way back to my room and took a long, relaxing shower. Luckily, I brought shampoo and soap and other bathroom necessities with me or I'd be freshening up with just hot water.

After my bath, I wrapped myself in a towel and then brushed my teeth. I made a quick change of clothes, placed a little bit of perfume and then brushed my hair. I didn't bring a blow dryer so I just left the on my shoulders.

When I was through, I placed my phone in the back pocket of my jeans and went out of the room. He was just watching TV and was already 'freshened up' as soon as I came into the living room. When I made my way to the couch, he turned the TV off and stood up with a smile on his face.

"Let's get going," he said reaching for the keys that was on the table right beside the door that led to the outside world.

"Where exactly are we going?" I asked curiously and he gave me a sly smile.

"You said you wanted an adventure, right?" he said as he walked out the door. I followed right out before he closed it and then locked it from the outside with a key. "Well, I've got a little something prepared."

"And that little something is…?" I trailed off as I followed him just one flight of stairs and out to the parking lot where his car was.

"Meeting my sister, Annabelle," he said as he got inside the car. "I think you'll like her,"

I got in after him and we were on our way. Truthfully, I was scared shitless but maybe this could turn out to be a memorable thing. I don't know if I might like her or if I might think that she's a total bitch but I can't wait to find out.

I know it was only yesterday that we met and became friends but somehow, I feel as if I've known him for years. Maybe we knew each other from some past life or something. I don't know but I am having fun just by being with him. I think our friendship could go a long way and in times like these, I'd really need someone I can trust.

So as I start my new adventure, I just hope it doesn't spark up the past and bring back everything I've been trying to avoid. This is a new start for me. I don't know how many times I might've said that in the past but I think this is the real thing. I can just feel it.


	30. Chapter 30

"So what exactly is your sister like?" I asked as he took a turn to the left.

"I told you that you'll know exactly what she's like once you meet her," he said chuckling at my impatience.

I wasn't really a patient person and I really hated surprises. I just hope that what he thought was true – that his sister and I would get along well – was really going to be relevant.

The rest of the ride was silent as we arrived at a hotel. Chace parked the car in an open space and once he did, he turned the engine off and got out of the car. I was just about to get out when he ran to my side and opened it for me. What a gentleman.

We entered the hotel together and I was starting to get a little nervous. The insides of stomach were flipping all over. I just wanted to get this over with – quickly.

I walked into the lobby but stopped in my tracks as I saw a face I thought I'd never see again. I didn't know he was going to be here. It was a mere coincidence.

"Are you alright?" Chace asked as soon as he noticed that I stopped walking.

Luckily he didn't turn my way just yet. The rest of the guys were seated on the sofa in the lobby. They were facing the other side so there was still a chance to actually get out of here.

"It's nothing," I said, "I just can't be here right now." I stated as I started for the door that led to the outside world, away from the biggest mistake of my life.

To tell you the truth, after Zack left that day, I just couldn't bring myself to think that I was doing the right thing. Letting him go was the worst thing I could ever do to one of my very best friends. If he never wants to be with me again, I'd understand that but all I'm asking for, really, is to be friends with him and to keep our friendship. All that friendship shouldn't be put to waste and maybe this is one way to rekindle the relationship. Maybe it'd be weird at first. I mean who wouldn't feel weird after everything we've been through. I don't know how many days he'll need but I'm all set to be friends with him again and right now, that's what's most important to me.

But just because I made up my mind, it doesn't change the fact that I didn't want to see him. I may be ready to be friends but I wasn't really ready to see him, not yet at least.

"Hey wait," Chace said getting a hold of my hand before I could walk away. It was going to be hard to get out of this without causing a scene so I let him take me. "Please, don't go."

"It's not that I don't want to meet your sister. It's just that-" I guess if we were going to be friends, I had to tell him about all this. "-that guy over there," I said pointing to where Zack was. "He's the one I told you about,"

I put down my hand to prevent anyone from looking at me. It was rude to point – my mother once said. Chace's excited expression fell as he looked back at Zack.

I didn't know why the lightness in his eyes seemed to pour out but when he looked back at me, he tried to hide it with a big smile saying, "So if you don't want to meet her, then what should we do now?" he was clearly affected by me not wanting to go over there but what else was I supposed to do?

"Well maybe you can just ask your sister to come here. I can wait if you want," I said trying to be considerate. He's done so much for me and maybe this is somewhat I way to pay him back for all his kindness. Besides, how bad can it be right? And if ever the guys did see me, then what the hell? I'd say hi and crap and then what?

I was actually beginning to feel a bit enlightened by my optimism and in all honesty, it felt good. Right now, that was practically all I needed – to feel good.

"Seriously?" he said and I nodded, "But you have to promise me that you won't leave, okay?" Chace said in all seriousness.

"You don't have to worry about that. Besides, where the hell would I go if ever I wanted to leave?" I asked making him smile – for real this time.

"I'll be right back then," he said walking towards wherever his sister was.

I looked out the door as I waited for them. The scenery from the door was exquisite and I don't think I've ever seen anything like it. The flowers had vibrant colours that were quite appealing to the eyes. They were the kind of flowers that were sort of picture perfect.

"Brooke, this is Annabelle, my sister," Chace said and I turned around to face her.

"It's nice to meet you, Annabelle," I said placing a hand up for a shake.

"You too," she said shaking it.

"Are you staying here?" I asked her as Chace excused himself.

"Oh, no, I'm just here for a friend." She stated and smiled.

"I see," I said. I didn't want to end up in an awkward silence so I began to start conversations.

We ended up talking about like, dislikes and some hobbies. "Wow your brother was right," I said with a small laugh. "We do have a lot in common,"

"True that," she said. "By the way, since we are on the subject, how did you and Chace meet?" she asked as we walked towards the lobby and into a deserted area with vacant seats.

I was suddenly fearless and very much relieved. At least for a while, I didn't have to worry about anything Zack related and I didn't care if they did see me and, I met a new friend.

"Well, we boarded the same plane coming over here. I was supposed to be here for someone who I thought would take me back but I guess not everything turns out the way we want it to and unfortunately it was one of those things." I started off, "so I was there in the airport, crying and heart broken wanting to go back home even if I just got here. He asked me to stay since he thought that I would just be wasting precious money if I just went back to New Jersey." I explained and she nodded.

"Well, I've never heard of my brother being kind to someone before so that's new but then again, I haven't seen him in like, months. He went to New Jersey for some photo journalism thing," she explained.

"Oh, so he's a photojournalist?" I asked surprised. I didn't really see any equipment in the apartment we were staying in. Maybe it was all in his room.

"Yeah, he's great at what he does too." She stated and it wasn't really hard to believe.

"I wonder why he never told me," I said curiously.

"Well, he's not really the kind of guy who's fully wide open. He likes to keep some things to himself," she said.

"Wow, you guys must be tight," I said and she just smiled.

We kept chatting for what seemed like forever when suddenly, somebody hovered over us. I looked up and saw the same face I was dreaded to face when I came in the hotel.

Zack was looking down at me with some kind of anger in his eyes. I didn't really get why he was angry but I don't know. Maybe he has every right to be angry at me.

"Hey Zack," Annabelle greeted and caught his attention. "What's up?"

Well maybe Zack was the friend she was referring to but knowing Zack, it wouldn't take too long before they were in a tight-knit relationship.

"Umm, Brooke, can we talk?" he said ignoring Annabelle's questions.

"You guys know each other?" Annabelle asked surprised but she was still cheerful which was good.

"Uh, yeah, we go way back." I said before nodding hesitantly to Zack. "Excuse me for a while," I told Annabelle before I got up and left.

Zack took the lead and went out to the tables they had outside. He got a table that seated two people. We sat on opposite side to prevent awkwardness.

"Why're you here?" was the first question he asked me.

_This is it, _I thought to myself. It was now I never. I never thought it'd boil down to this.

"Well, remember when I called you and you told me that you said that we wouldn't work anymore?" I started and he nodded, "Well – this is going to be embarrassing – but I couldn't help but let the tears roll down. I was upset and confused and lonely. Chace, Annabelle's brother, saw me and helped me. I'm currently staying with him but it's only going to be temporary. But if you want, I can leave right now and-"

"Don't be ridiculous, Brooke. I can't tell you what to do," he said sighing as he lay back in his chair.

"Then why are you so angry," I asked calmly not wanting to tip him off.

He sighed heavily before answering the question. "It's just that, I don't know. Maybe I feel bad,"

"Don't," I said and he just looked at me like I said something in a foreign language.

I let the silence fill the air before saying anything else. I didn't want to catch him off guard.

"But there is one thing that I did want since we're practically here already," I said and curiosity filled his eyes.

"What is it?" he asked sincerely. He might be disappointed about my being here but he really did sound sincere.

My stomach started churning as I tried to put the words together in my head. "Well, I don't really know how to say this but, if you want, can we keep our friendship? I mean what I'm trying to say is-"

"If we can still be friends after everything?" he interjected as relief washed over him, "Why not?" he said with more enthusiasm.

"So, friends?" I asked placing a hand right in front of him.

"Friends," he said taking my hand and shaking it.

We went back inside the hotel with smiles on our faces. We talked about how crazy we were as kids and I was happy just going down memory lane.

Knowing that I have my best friend back, there is nothing more I can ever ask.

"So how was it?" Chace asked as Zack and I separated ways.

"It went well, I guess." I told him, "I finally have my best friend back."

He smiled at me, "That's great," he said. "But I was asking about my sister,"

I blushed at him before uttering a word. "Oh, well that went great too. She's a really nice girl and you were right when I said that we had a lot in common."

We walked back to the parking lot talking about random stuff when all of a sudden, someone called out to Chace.

I turned around as I watched Annabelle jogging towards us.

"Hey where are you guys going?" Annabelle asked as soon as she caught up with us.

"We were just about to go on a tour," Chace said and I looked his way. I didn't know that he had some kind of plan at hand.

"Oh, so when are we hanging out again?" she asked directing the question to me.

"Umm…"

"Soon," Chace said coming to my rescue. It seemed like he really wanted to leave. I wonder why he was in such a hurry.

"Okay then," Annabelle said with a small smile. "Bye then," she said before walking back in.

We walked back to the car in silence. Once we both got in, I looked at him with anxiety. He didn't touch the keys or take them out of his pocked which made me worry.

"Is everything alright?" I asked him and he looked up at me.

"It's nothing," he said taking the keys out of his pocket as he regained composure.

"C'mon, you can tell me." I told him and he sighed.

"It's just…" he started to say, "I had a little talk with Zack's friends," he said turning on the engine and starting the car.

"What did they say exactly?" I asked him as he backed away from the parking lot.

"Stuff about you and him having history," he said vaguely.

"And that bothers you because…?" I trailed off hoping he'd continue the sentence.

"They think that you guys will just end up back together," he said sullenly.

"That's not true," I said certain, "Don't worry about it," I said looking out the window knowing that memory lane will be the only place we'd have together and in it, a spoonful of memories – nothing more, nothing less.


	31. Chapter 31

[CHACE'S POV]

I didn't know why I was angry. Was this jealousy coursing through my veins? That 'Zack' guy seemed like a total douche and that statement holds true as Brooke told me about her past with him. To think that maybe he has something going with my sister was seriously going to blow my mind up if I dwelled on it some more.

But other than that, the mere fact that Brooke had a history with that guy was insane. I may not know him well but somehow, I've set my mind into hating him for the rest of my life and I swear if he fucks my sister up, he's gonna be seeing stars for the rest of his life.

I needed to calm down badly but somehow, my brain wouldn't let me. I hate myself for being really imaginative right now because it's making my blood pressure go up and when I'm mad, it's never a good sight to see.

"Chace, are you okay?" Brooke whispered anxiously as she woke me up from my thoughts.

I didn't really notice until she caught my attention that I had a large scowl on my face and that I was gripping the steering wheel tightly. I was too sucked in to my thoughts that I hardly noticed that we were driving around in circles. I had to go somewhere far from that hotel but also some place nice and some place worthy of hanging out in. But I also needed a place to breathe where there was a lot of fresh air so that I wouldn't suffocate in all my anger.

"Um, yeah," I said synthetically. "Why do you ask?" I looked at her and then looked back at the road that was right in front of me.

She was buried with deep thoughts and was really worried about me. I couldn't let her do that so I broke into a half hearted sigh and gave her a smile. Right now, she was the only reason to keep myself calm and collected. I needed to keep a straight face for her since I knew all about what she's been through and adding to her list of problems won't really do her any good.

"Nothing, it just seems like you have a lot on your mind," she said shifting in her seat so she was facing me. Her face expressed so much concern that it almost made me laugh but just to clear the air, I'm not bipolar.

"Dude, c'mon, take a chill pill," I said regaining the fun personality I showed her when we met at the airport.

She smiled at me leaning on the headrest as she kept her eyes on me. She started giggling and I looked at her with an eyebrow raised. "What's so funny?" I asked keeping my eyes on the road.

"Nothing," she said and left it at that.

I parked the car in the parking lot of a beach that I knew downtown. Once the car was parked, I shut off the engine and looked back at Brooke was until now was still staring at me.

"Are you trying to burn a hole through my face?" I asked looking into her beautiful, green eyes. She had the prettiest eyes I think I've ever seen.

"I wouldn't do that even if I was a witch with mythical powers," she said and I laughed.

I got out of the car and quickly ran to her side to open the door for her. I never did this to any other girl before. She was the only one who turned me somewhat soft inside. There was no doubt that indeed I was falling for her. But even if I was, I still wasn't ready for her to know that since I knew she needed time to heal from what happened. I wanted to give her that I wanted her to know that I'd be there for her before we divulge into a relationship which I hope will last a lifetime.

I'm not going to tell you how I feel about her since I don't really want to reveal the softer side of my very self. Well at least not yet.

"A beach at this time of the year? That's sorta odd," she mentioned before taking my hand and stepping out of the car.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll take that back as soon as you see the waves," I said shutting her door for her and locking the car.

I let go of her hand and shoved both my hands in my pocket. We both walked along each other as we entered the beach.

The cold breeze hit us as soon as we hit the sand and walked along the shore listening to the waves that were crashing around us. It all seemed too cliché and romantic but I wasn't going there with this – not yet.

I tried to keep it all casual and cool as we both talked about the beach being deserted in the best time of the year. Well maybe it wasn't really a time where you'd see ton of people in their bathing suits and diving into the water but it was a good time to just watch the waters and chill out with some friends.

I looked at my watch and saw that it was about time we ate lunch so I looked around me to see a small bed and breakfast outlet right across us. I motioned for her to follow me before leading the way into the small shop which had about a couple of people inside.

"You hungry?" I asked as she smiled sheepishly.

"Yup," she said walking into the place to see what was in store. "Chace, its lunch time. Why are we here?" she whispered her question so that she wouldn't catch people's attention but the bell gave us away.

I smiled before answering her question. "We're here because you're in Canada and you need to try our maple syrup," I said and she smirked.

"I never knew you were very patriotic," she mumbled and I rolled my eyes.

When we got to a table, I ordered us brunch. I got us pancakes with bacon strips and a sunny side up egg. Once the order was taken by the waitress, I stared at Brooke who was looking out the window.

"How exactly is your maple syrup different from ours?" she asked and I rolled my eyes.

"Really? You're asking me that?" I said and she nudged me playfully on the shoulder.

"Fine, I'll change the question," she said with a blank face on, "Why didn't you tell me you were a photojournalist?"

"Well I guess it never really came up," I said putting my chin on my palm as I waited for her to maybe ask me another question.

"Have you ever been in love before?" she stared out at the window as she queried me.

I smirked as catching her attention. There was this longing look in her eyes that told me that she really did want to know the answer to the question. "Well, maybe I have, once or twice but they never ended up well,"

"What happened?" she asked almost instantly after I answered her.

"Well, it never worked out, I guess," I decided to keep it vague so as not to surprise her with anything out of the blue.

"And you expect me to just say 'okay' and then move on to another topic?" she said with an eyebrow raised.

"Fine, here's the story," I said sitting up in my seat as she smiled brightly. She was getting answers and she was happy about that. "When I was in college, I met this girl who I thought was 'the one'—" I air quoted, "—she and I, we dated for a while and we were actually going great. But there was one thing that I didn't know the whole time we were going out together,"

"What was that?" she asked eagerly.

"She was just using me so she could make her boyfriend jealous." I said pausing as the waitress placed our orders on the table. I asked for two bottles of water before she walked away and then continued with my 'story'. "I was just a tool to her and she didn't really care. But what's really stupid about this whole thing is that I actually did have feelings for her and I told her about it but she just shrugged it off."

"Aw, what a bitch!" she exclaimed but only loud enough that the two of us could hear. "If you had a friend like me then, I would've totally kicked her ass!" she said in so much enthusiasm as I laughed.

"Well, that would have been great seeing as I really couldn't do anything about her since I'm a guy," I said and realized exactly what she was doing. She was cheering me up which meant that she didn't believe me when I said that I was fine in the car. She saw right through me.

We started digging into our food once we were through talking about my 'love life' – as she called it.

"You were right about the maple syrup," she said after tasting it. I winked at her and held back the 'I told you so' that wanted to come out.

Once we finished eating, I paid for the bill – after a long argument with her about who was to pay for everything – and walked out with her trailing behind me.

We walked for a while trying to get rid of some of the fullness that we got out of eating lunch. While we walked, we talked and talked endlessly about our lives and where we might be in the future.

We were just about to sit on a spot in the sand when her phone started ringing.

"Hold on a sec," she told me and went to answer the call in a safe distance. I sat on the sand not caring about getting myself covered with it as I waited for her.

I wrapped my wide spread knees with my arms as I hoped that waiting was all I would be doing for her.

[BROOKE'S POV]

There are no words in the English language that I know of that could describe exactly how I felt about today. Everything was just going my way and I loved they way that nothing was going wrong at all. After heading to the beach and eating my second set of breakfast for lunch, I was overjoyed.

Chace and I were so comfortable with each other and it hardly bothered me that we were alone and on the beach. This couldn't mean anything romantic, I knew it by heart. It was just two friends watching the water curl on the shore on a December afternoon. It might've been freezing but I dealt with it just fine.

We were just about to take a spot in the sand when suddenly my phone rang. I excused myself as I walked a few meters away from where he was and answered my phone.

Zack was calling.

"Hello?" he said as soon as I picked up.

"Hey Zack," I said casually. I'm glad that we were cool now.

"Hey, I was just wondering if maybe you and Chace would like to go to a party after our show tonight," he said and I thought about it. Maybe it would be a good idea.

"Umm, I'm down with it but I have to ask Chace first," I said facing Chace's direction but his back was facing me.

"Okay, just text me when he decides," he said.

"Okay," and with that we both hung up.

I walked over to where Chace sat and took the spot on the sand right next to him. I knew he didn't really like Zack. I saw it in his eyes when we got into the car after we met up with his sister this morning. I didn't really know how I knew exactly but there was this gut feeling that told me that he really didn't like him.

"Who was it?" he finally asked after a brief moment of silence.

"Oh, umm, it was Zack." I said awkwardly but watched him for any violent reaction.

"What'd he want?" he asked in the same calm tone.

"Well, he invited us to a party," I said awkwardly as I toyed with the sand. I didn't get why he was acting this way. I thought he didn't like Zack. Maybe he was just hiding his emotions so that he wouldn't hurt me.

I suddenly frowned at how considerate he was being. Sure, maybe his consideration was something positive but he hid so much inside and I hated myself for doing that to him. He shouldn't be keeping all his emotions inside. I knew how that felt and it wasn't good.

"Do you wanna go?" he asked looking at the blue water right in front of him. I couldn't see exactly if he meant that or was just hiding yet another emotion and masking the pain that I knew he was feeling but I didn't want to ask him so I shrugged it off.

"Well, yeah but-"

"Then we'll go," he said turning to me with a smile. But I saw right through him. I knew it was synthetic.


	32. Chapter 32

[ZACK'S POV]

The show started like an hour ago and now, the whole thing is starting to wind down. I looked at everyone at the crowd hoping to see a familiar face but unfortunately, she wasn't there. That's right, I was looking for Brooke. I mean I always looked to her for moral support. I thought I would get some from her since we were cool now but maybe she and Chace are out doing something.

But there is an upside to all of this though. I mean they're coming to party so that's more than enough, right?

Alex sang the chorus of the song Weightless and everyone was clapping and jumping their asses off for us. I know that I should really be having the time of my life up here but weirdly, I was sorta down inside. Outside though, I showed off a cheeky grin and winked at some of the girls up front. One of them was about to faint and that's what really scared me.

"Thank you so much Vancouver!" Alex screamed into the mic after the last note. "We hope to see you soon,"

I gave my bass to the roadie who held out his hands for it and was the first to walk off the stage. The rest followed me after a few seconds. I got into the dressing room almost forgetting that I'd brought Annabelle along with me.

"Hey! That was a kick-ass show!" She said getting up and was about to hug me but I didn't let her.

"Thanks, I'd hug you too but I wouldn't want to ruin that hot dress on you," I said and she blushed.

She sat back down on the couch she was sitting on and turned off the TV that showed the stage we just performed on.

I grabbed my backpack I brought along with me and rushed into the bathroom before anyone got into it first.

I needed a hot shower. I thought maybe it might somehow magically wash away the sad feeling I felt inside me. I washed myself for about twenty minutes before drying myself with a towel, placing deodorant that I thought smelled good and wearing the clothes I grabbed from inside my bag. Once I was through, I went out of the bathroom just to see Jack glaring at me.

"Hey slow poke, did you know that I wanted to pee after the whole show?" he asked walking in circles.

"Nope," I said not minding the name he gave me. He rolled his eyes and ran into the bathroom to change and do his business.

I walked over to where Annabelle was and watched her text on her phone. Once I got tired of that I just stared at the ceiling. I didn't know why I thought Annabelle could ever take the place of Brooke and everything we've been through. I mean maybe it's too early to say that she's the one for me and that she and I would have a better relationship than what we had with Brooke but I just can't help myself.

It's not like I'm saying that Annabelle isn't a great girl too, I mean she is great and all that but what I'm after, really is the kind of thing Brooke and I used to have. I missed that. I missed her.

"You guys ready?" Rian asked taking me away from the thoughts brewing inside my head.

It took me time to realize that they were already done. "Yeah," I said getting up and taking putting out a hand for Annabelle to take. She took it gladly and we started for the door.

Just so you know, I didn't hold Annabelle's hand for a really long time. I let it go once she got up. I saw the disappointed look on her face but I didn't want to deal with – at least not right now.

We got into the black SUV that Rian rented and we were on our way to the bar where we would get our drinks up and party until the lights go out. Constantly, Rian would ask Annabelle for directions since he didn't really know the directions to where exactly we were headed.

I checked my phone to see if I had any messages on there. There was one and it was from Brooke. She told me through text that she was going with Chace to the bar we were going to and that they'd just meet us there. She apologized for having to miss the show since apparently something came up.

I wanted badly to ask her what came up but then I realized that it wasn't any of my business so I just told her that we'd all see her there as a reply. She sent a smiley face almost instantly.

I smiled at the face and then kept my phone. Why did she have this effect on me? I mean I'm sure I've felt it once before when we were together but why was I feeling it again? I mean she and Chace are practically together already or at least that's what it looked like so why do my thoughts seem to be running around her?

Maybe I was crazy or maybe I did in some way miss her but that can't be possible; it just can't happen. I looked up from my phone and out the window and saw all the city lights blur past me. I didn't know how long we had 'til we got there but right now, I don't think I'd want to push through with it. I mean I think my stomach can't handle it.

It was churning and I was feeling nervous. I wished for this car ride to go on forever but we took a turn to the left and parked in an empty space. We were here.

I waited for everyone to get out first before climbing out. They started walking towards the door but I lagged behind. Annabelle shot me a glance and wanted to see if I needed to vent out on something but I just looked up at her and made a facial expression that told her I was fine.

She smiled at me and I smiled back at her as I draped my arm around her shoulder and started walking inside the club.

The bouncer let us in without any problem but once we got in, we automatically had a teeny tiny problem. The place was packed. How the hell was I supposed to find Brooke now?

"Wow, is it always full like this every night?" Jack asked Annabelle as I took my arm off her. I shoved my hands in my pocket feeling the cold air coming from the A/C surround me.

"Pretty much," she said coolly as we all headed to the bar.

"So does that mean you come here every night?" Alex asked her making her smirk.

She playfully nudged him on the shoulder before answering the question. "No, I come here every other night," she stated and they laughed. She stuck out her tongue at Alex and he just rolled his eyes.

"You should really place that tongue where it belongs," Alex flirted as he wiggled his eyebrows.

"Oh and where exactly is that?" Annabelle played along as we all sat in a booth near the bar.

I slid in first and then Jack got in after me then Annabelle, Alex and then finally, Rian. I grabbed my phone and asked Brooke where they were.

"In my mouth," Alex seduced but we all knew he was joking so Annabelle just laughed at him and Alex just laughed along.

"I'm gonna go to the bar and get something to drink. You guys want anything?" I asked getting up.

They all shook their heads casually so I got up alone and went straight to the bar.

"Hey, get me a beer, will ya?" I asked the bartender in a friendly tone and he nodded before grabbing a bottle of Budweiser. He handed it to me with the bottle cap off and I took a drink before checking on my phone.

_We just got in_, she texted back as I looked around.

Chace was a pretty tall guy so he was easy to spot. I motioned for them to come by the bar first and as soon as Chace saw me, he whispered something to Brooke who I guess was in front of him before heading my way.

Once Brooke was in sight, I immediately was astounded with the way she looked tonight. She looked hot in her outfit. I wished she did it for me but that was way out of line – even for me.

"Hey! How was the show?" She asked in a loud voice since the music was really loud around the bar.

"It was okay, I guess," I said hopping off the stool and shaking the hand that Chace held out for me before leading them to where the others were.

It was less noisy there so we all talked in normal tones. I slid in the opposite side so that they didn't have to move anymore. The booth was shaped in a semi-circle so if I slid in next to Rian, everyone would have to move so to make things easier, I just went in the other way.

Brooke got in next to me and as soon as she came close, her perfume filled my nose. It was a kind of scent that was both sweet and familiar. She used the same perfume ever since she was a teenager since she said that it would make people remember her. I thought it was clever since until now, it worked.

We all started to make conversations and I pitched in every now and then. I was kinda happier with Brooke being beside me which was weird. I mean I guess its great having a friend around you but this didn't seem like a friendly type of thing. This seemed like something way over the borderline of where the word 'friends' stood. But with all these things I'm saying, I guess I'll have to admit that I am so confused with the way I felt towards her. I didn't know if I liked her only as a friend or something more but somehow, I didn't think I'd want to find out.

"So who's up for shots?" Rian asked after a while of small talk.

"I'm down for it, but who's paying?" I asked and we all looked at each other. The beer bottle that was once full was now empty beside me and Brooke was playing with the bottle.

"Why don't we all just split?" Annabelle said watching everyone but the stopping when her eyes met mine. I smiled at her and she smiled back brightly.

I looked down at my hands that were on the table as Rian got up and ordered a row of shots for us to take.

Once they arrived, we were all shocked to see that Rian had gotten two shots each for us.

"You're kidding, right?" Brooke asked making us all laugh.

"Aww, are you on some kind of limit?" I asked looking at her with an eyebrow raised.

"No, I just thought we'd get like three each," she challenged as she downed one of the shots.

"Now that's insane," I said and slowly each one of us started downing the alcohol in the shot glasses before us.

"You scared, little boy?" She teased asking the waiter who was waiting around to come over.

"Are you challenging me?" I asked surprised. She never used to challenge me since we both knew who the winner would be.

"Hell yea," she stated as she told the waiter to bring us more.

Once the shots arrived, we started competing against each other to see who could down the most shots. They all just kept on coming and soon, we were all getting woozy.

"I wanna dance!" Brooke suddenly exclaimed.

I looked up to her after my 8th shot to see if she was looking at me but she was asking Chace. It broke my heart to see them get up from the booth and walk towards the dance floor which was starting to play faster music.

"You know, I've never seen him this happy before," Annabelle stated as she watched her brother dance with my best friend.

She told the guys about how he always used to just keep to himself and all that crap but I was too drunk and distracted to actually listen to all that shit she was saying. She was actually supporting their relationship. I just wanted to stuff her mouth with all the chasers that came with the shots we took. Maybe that would shut her mouth.

I tuned her out as I watched Brooke and Chace grinding on the dance floor. I sneered at what I saw but I didn't do anything else about it. I mean I was pretty much in control still. I wasn't drunk enough to make a scene and start a brawl right in the middle of the dance floor.

Alex watched me intently. Luckily, I was facing away from Annabelle so she couldn't see the facial expression I was making.

I couldn't stand it. I wanted to get up from where I was sitting badly and I just wanted to beat the shit out of that guy who was caressing her like crazy. She should really file against him for sexual harassment.

The weird thing though about all of this is that I didn't get why I was feeling so overprotective over her I mean they were just dancing.

I took another shot from the table and was about to get up when Alex held me down.

"Hey Zack, why don't you come with me outside for a while? I think I need some air." Alex said and I heaved a heavy sigh before walking out of the bar with him.

Sure there were thousands of girls checking me out as I walked out of the bar but there was only one person in the whole place that I wanted and that girl was Brooke.

"What is with you, man?" Alex asked with his hands gripping my shoulder tightly as soon as we got out of the bar.

"What do you mean?" I asked calmly as I shook his hands off me.

"You've got Annabelle all wrapped around your finger and you're just gonna lead her on?" he asked frustrated.

I stretched my patience with him as I tried to converse with him properly. "Dude, we're friends, okay?" I said crossing my arms over my chest.

"Friends, really?" he mentioned with a devastated tone in his voice. "Dude, do you know how much she wants you?"

"God, if you want her so much why don't you just go for her already?" I said in anger and he just stared back at me with shock instilled in his eyes.

"W-what?" he stuttered. Boy, was he making himself obvious.

"Clearly, with the way you were flirting with her the whole night, you want her to be with you." I said in a matter-of-factly as I started to realize that what I was ranting about just made sense to me after I said it.

I didn't see it 'til this moment that Alex was actually head over heels for her. I didn't feel an ounce of jealousy though which I guess was a good thing.

"Okay fine, maybe I do like her," he confessed. "But you have to tell her that you still have feelings for Brooke too," he said and my eyes widened.

"It's not like that-"

"Shut the fuck up, man. We can all see it in your eyes," Alex said and I sighed.

"Maybe I do still have feelings for her," I mumbled and he smirked.

"Dude, I don't think you ever got over her," And with that, I knew everything he said was true. He was right. **I still loved her**.


	33. Chapter 33

[BROOKE'S POV]

It felt so good to be on the dance floor and dance my heart away. Chace was a very good dancer and maybe I was just saying that because I'm not really myself right now but I was careless and it really didn't matter to me.

I thought I could dance forever but my shoes were killing my feet and it hurt like hell. I told Chace that I wanted to sit down and he kissed me on the cheek before leading me back to our table. I blushed a bright red as he chuckled. Normally I would think that it was just a friendly peck but it was Chace we were talking about. I didn't know what to feel right now but I only thank God that I wasn't sober enough to overanalyse the situation.

Jack, Rian and Annabelle all had smiles on their faces as we arrived to the table. I wondered where Zack and Alex went and I was going to ask but Rian told me that they went out to get some air. I laughed at that but they didn't really think it was funny so I just ended up laughing to myself.

I excused myself from the table and told everyone I was going to little ladies' room to freshen up a bit. Chace smiled at me sweetly as I got out of the booth. Why was he acting this way?

I pushed past the people on the dance floor as I made my way to the bathroom. I didn't really want to do anything in there except fix my hair. I wanted to get away from the table before it dropped into a silence so I excused myself.

Once I opened the bathroom door, I immediately wished I didn't open it at all. A lot of girls were in there fidgeting with their make up and hogging over the mirrors just to make sure they looked okay. There were girls in the cubicles that sounded like they had a little too much to drink. This was a bad idea.

I spun around and bumped into someone in panic.

"I'm sorr-" I was going to say but it was just Zack. "So you ready to give up the title?" I said with a smile but he didn't seem too into it. He was depressed about something and I desperately wanted to know what that was all about but I wasn't sure I was supposed to ask.

"Um, yeah, sure," he said walking past me and into the male's bathroom.

I watched him walk briskly inside. Something in me told me that I should stay and wait until he got out so I could ask him what was up but I wasn't that girl anymore. I wasn't obliged to fix Zack if ever he was broken about something. That felt like a million years ago – when everything was better than it was now in some ways.

I walked back to where the rest of the guys were and smiled as I saw Alex and Annabelle talking sweetly in their own world. Rian, Jack and Chace were in a conversation but stopped when I sat down right beside Chace.

"So you ready to ditch?" he whispered softly to me as Jack and Rian started another conversation. He placed his arms on the seat at the back finding comfort in the position he was in.

"I think I'd want to stay a little longer," I told him with a smile and he nodded and then Zack came back with a smile on his face that looked forced.

He sat right beside Jack who was on the other end of the booth and made everyone scoot over.

"So Chace, are you guys together now?" Zack asked making my head perk up from my phone that I was just checking.

I gave Zack a confused look but he didn't acknowledge it.

"Um, yeah, sorta, I guess." Chace said casually.

I didn't want to be here right now. We were not together. Was he doing this to make Zack jealous? But why in the world would he be jealous if Chace and I were in a relationship? I got out of my seat thankful that I was at the end of the booth so I just slid right out and pushed past all the people so that I could make my way out the door. I didn't want to cause a scene inside. There were too many people.

I leaned against the side of the building wondering if the conversation they were having inside stopped when I left. But I saw no one coming after me so I guess they were still talking. I heaved out a sigh wondering what kind of mess this might lead into as I looked up at the starry night sky.

[ZACK'S POV]

I watched Brooke walk out on the conversation we were having. She didn't say anything which was weird. The way she walked out made me wonder if Chace was telling the truth because if he wasn't, then I just might beat the shit out of him for no apparent reason. I was still in rage but I kept it all inside and showed off the best fake smile I could give.

"So does that mean you're lying?" I raised an eyebrow as everyone in the booth turned their attention to me.

"Look, maybe we're not in a relationship yet but we're getting there," he said and I rolled my eyes at him. "Dude, what's your problem?" he asked getting up clearly frustrated.

"Well I only have one problem, really?" I said keeping calm in my seat. I wasn't scared. I just didn't understand why this had to be a big scene for everyone to see. He might've seemed strong but we all know I can beat him up in a matter of seconds.

"Oh yeah?" he started saying as he rolled up his sleeves. Wow, this seems like a big climax in a movie but I was playing a part too so I couldn't just watch the whole thing. "What might that be?" he asked me as if it wasn't clear enough.

"Do I really need to spell it out for you?" I asked bluntly and then Annabelle stood up.

"Stop it," she whispered to her brother who was acting like a fucking prick.

"Stay out of this," he told her as he kept his glare right at me. I scoffed as I rolled my eyes and shook my head. I needed him to be angry. Otherwise, my beating him up won't be much of a challenge.

"You know that's no way to talk to a girl," I told him coolly as he raised an eyebrow to question my authority.

"Yeah, you're one to talk," he said calming down a bit but he was still standing. Clearly he wanted to feel the 'power' or whatever.

"Excuse me?" I asked shifting in my seat as I crossed my arms over my chest. Annabelle couldn't do anything more so she sat down and watched the scene that was happening right in front of them.

"You played Brooke a thousand times and tore her to pieces each time you asked her to do something for you so that you could win a fucking bet and you just treated her like trash and threw her around and you're scolding me for not knowing how to talk to a girl properly?" Oh that definitely struck a million nerves but I wasn't going to show it.

"She got over that and I don't understand how any of that is your business so I think it's best if you just fuck off," I told him and he just continued to glare at me.

"You can't tell me what to do." He said sternly and I smirked at him bitterly.

"Sure I can," I said bluntly feeling the need to get up but I just sat down there knowing that if I did stand, he would strike a punch. Maybe I did want a brawl but I definitely wanted pound on him first. That way it would end right then and there.

The next thing I knew, he was about to strike a punch but I evaded from it as I got up. None of the guys planned to hold me back so I clasped my fists and let it make contact to his cheek. And then, it got ugly.

[BROOKE'S POV]

I've been standing here for approximately five minutes and I was thinking about what in the world was going on inside the bar but something in me told me that it would be best to just wait out here where it was peaceful. I wanted to follow what one part of my conscience told me but I desperately needed to sit down somewhere and there were no seats outside so I went back in to meet up with the rest of the guys but apparently, a rumble started and people were looking straight at Zack and Chace who were right in the middle of killing each other.

"What the hell?! Stop it!" I said breaking the two apart. I held them back by placing a hand on their chests but they were glaring at each other too much. I was afraid that if I let go, they would start at each other again. "Why the hell didn't you stop them?" I asked directing the question to the rest of the people who were just staring from the booth.

"We wanted to see where this would go," Alex said and I scrunched my face trying my hardest not to scream about how dumb that idea was.

By now, Zack's and Chace's breathings slowed and it told me that my hands should come off of their chests by now so I dropped them.

I wanted badly to break down and cry but it was just too much. They all stared at me as I stared at the floor. I was about to turn on my heel and walk out on everything to pack my belongings and leave like I do whenever problems like these pop up but Chace grabbed me by the hand and that made me look up at him. He stared at me with sad eyes but that wasn't going to work on me.

Why did he think lying about our relationship was a good thing? Why did he say something stupid like that? Shit. I was sobering up. This is not good especially right now when my night's about to fall apart.

"We need to talk," he told me but I just shook my head. I let his hand slip from mine as his face started to fill with pain.

Tears started welling up in my eyes as I tried to walk away but I couldn't bring my feet to start walking. I bit my lip and tried to think about something to say but I couldn't think straight at all.

I looked at Zack who looked at me like he was about ready to fall apart and everything just seemed silent. I pressed my lips together and told Chace that I wanted to go home. Everyone perked up once I said something and Zack had this expression on his face that I couldn't read. I couldn't stand looking at it so I turned around and walked out of the bar with Chace.

The ride home was silent but that wasn't really what was bothering me. I couldn't believe that they did something like that in such a public place but the real question was that I didn't know what they fought about so I couldn't argue with Chace.

Once we arrived at his apartment, I didn't speak one word to him. I just went straight into the room that I called my own and locked myself in. There are just so many things in my life that I really did not want to deal with and if running away would make it all go away then maybe that's what I'm going to do.

I packed all my bags and placed my clothes in. Living here I guess was never a good idea but Chace prodded me to so I ended up staying here for two days or so.

Once I got everything packed and changed into a tank top and a pair of khaki shorts and placed flip flops on my feet, I sat on the bed but I couldn't get to relax since Chace started knocking on my door. I opened it but only wide enough so that he couldn't see that I had packed or something like that.

"Brooke, I'm so sorry," he said wanting to come inside but I didn't want to show him that I had packed so I slid out of the door and shut it

"Chace, I don't want to hear it, okay?" I said rubbing my head. Isn't it too early for a hangover? I haven't even slept yet.

"Okay, so I messed up once and you're never gonna speak to me again?" he asked in deep frustration. Apparently, the rage he had with towards Zack was still in him.

"Chace, just stop," I said leaning against the door. But once I leaned against it, I knew I made a mistake.

He leaned against the door by placing his hands on the space that was on either side of my face and pressed his lips to mine. No spark there.

Once he pressed his lips against mine, all the alcohol in my stomach started coming back up my throat. I pushed him away harshly as I ran into my room and into the bathroom. I placed the seat up and hurled into the toilet. I didn't know how he'd take this but I hope he understood but little did I know that that wasn't what Chace was worrying about right now.

Once I wasn't nauseous anymore, I flushed the toilet and washed my face and gargled to get rid of the horrid taste that still lingered in my mouth.

I walked back to my room and found Chace sitting on the bed with his forearms on his thighs as he looked down at the bags on the floor.

"You planned on leaving?" he started as soon as he saw me coming out of the bathroom. "You weren't going to say goodbye, were you?" he asked and I started breaking down. Well I didn't really fall into my knees but I started crying.

"Chace, I know that you've done so much for me and I know I can never pay you back for your kindness but I just can't stand it anymore." I said through the tears. "I can't be with someone who hates one of my closest friends,"

"So you're just gonna throw all this away for him?" he asked confused.

"We're not together Chace, you don't get a say in that." I told him.

He sighed heavily knowing that what I had said was true. But he couldn't let it go. In fact, he started an argument just because of that.

"But we were going to be together if it wasn't for him," he said. "You didn't even want to meet him in the first place." He said harshly but he kept himself on the bed that I've been using.

"Well, things change, okay? It's not my fault that he wanted to be friends again," I said inhaling and exhaling to keep myself calm.

"Fuck this," he said getting up and going out of room. He slammed the door behind him.

Tears continued to roll down as I collapsed on the bed. I didn't want any of this in my life. I didn't want to have to go through all this drama but I guess it was just inevitable. I wish none of this ever happened.

I stayed there wide awake on the bed for hours. My eyes screamed for some sleep but I had to wait until Chace was asleep so I could get out of here. I sighed as I got up and grabbed a post it from the desk. I had a pen in my bag so I used that too.

I left Chace a note telling him that this was goodbye and that he should just forget about me. I posted it on the desk and left my pen there so that he'd see something different on the table. I slowly twisted the doorknob and saw that he was in his room. He was probably asleep already.

I grabbed my bags and walked out of the door. I wasn't sure if there was a flight to New Jersey tonight but I had to leave this place. I needed to get out of here and get away from the mess I made.

It wasn't hard to walk out of his apartment I mean we did have some memories but it wasn't like I stayed a week here. This was only the second day of my stay so I guess I didn't really owe him that much.

I hailed a cab once I hit the sidewalk curb and had one stop for me after just a minute. I placed all my bags in the back seat since I didn't have that much luggage. I told the cab driver to head to the airport and he nodded and made his way to the airport. The drive was filled with twists and turns and then I started to get familiar with the road he was driving on.

It didn't take that long to get to the airport. I paid the driver the exact fair and got out with all my bags as the cab sped off.

I walked into the airport and walked to the nearest ticket agent and asked if there was a flight going to New Jersey that I could board.

"The next flight will be at around 2:35 in the morning," she mentioned and I nodded.

I got my wallet out and handed her the amount of money she asked and gave her the things she asked for like my passport and such so that I could buy the ticket. I thanked her as I walked into the terminal but I couldn't just walk right in. I had to go through security. The place didn't have a lot of people in it so it didn't take that long to get through security.

I checked in all my bags before walking into the waiting lounge for my flight. I held on to my shoulder bag as I looked up to check the time. It was exactly two in the morning so I guess it wasn't going to be that long until they call me to board a plane.

"Brooke? Is that you?" but thirty minutes was too long for me. I needed to get on the plane. Now.


	34. Chapter 34

Zack spun me around since I was too shocked to face him. I didn't know that they were leaving today and I didn't know if we were boarding the same plane. I hoped like hell we didn't. He kept a hand on my shoulder when I didn't say anything. He looked tired and his eyes were red. Did he shed some tears over what happened?

"What do you want, Zack?" I said trying my best not to sound mad. I ended up sounding disappointed and sad instead. He caught that in my tone and sighed most probably blaming himself about breaking us apart again.

"I'm sorry," he said and I nodded and was about to turn away but his hand slipped to mine and he laced our fingers together. "Not just about tonight but about every single time I messed up and made you slip away from the life that I never wanted to live. Living my life without you was like living in hell. It was like living in the darkness with no sense of light or nothing to hold on to. Life had no purpose when you left, Brooke. I've been thinking about you everyday. I never stopped thinking about you. Even if I told myself not to, you always found a way into my mind.

"When you told me that you wanted to be friends again, it's like my whole world became alive again and I thought that that was enough but apparently, it wasn't. Seeing you with other guys broke me apart and I know that it's selfish for me to just place that all on you because I know that somehow you felt happy with them but please understand Brooke that I love you. I can't stand seeing you with other guys because I only want you to be with me. I never want you to leave me again. I don't know how I'm going to survive life anymore knowing that I might never see you again." He said softly. Jack, Alex and Rian were all behind us staring at us and trying to make out the conversation we were having.

I looked down at our interlaced fingers and tried to think about what I was gonna say next. But I couldn't think of anything. Screw trying to think about this.

"Zack, I'm sure you have a lot to look forward to. You have a band and you have fans and girls just throw themselves at you. Telling me that you won't be able to survive without me is a complete lie and you know it. You've survived for years without me and-"

"Didn't you listen to anything I just said?" he cut me off mid-sentence with desperation lingering in his tone. "Brooke, I may have survived but it wasn't easy. It was never easy without you," he said gripping my hand tighter but his grasp didn't hurt. It was comfortable. It was something I truly missed and I don't know why I was trying to push him away.

"Zack, I just-" I paused as I held in the tears. "I'm just tired of having to get hurt over and over again, you know? I mean I love you too. I love you too much and it hurts knowing that whenever I try to show you, something wrong always happens. It hurts knowing that one thing will lead to another and then problems appear. I just don't want that anymore,"

"There are no relationships without problems. Everone makes mistakes and learns to forgive and forget. I've learned that the hard way and I'm willing to try this all out with you. I know that this might sound unbelievable but it's true. I just need you to trust me on this," he said lifting my chin up with his fingers and kissing me.

I didn't want to care anymore. I didn't want to think about getting hurt. I knew I loved him and I knew that I wasn't supposed to let this slip by me. This chance was all I had left. I had to take it. I've known Zack for quite a long time and fortunately, he hasn't really changed.

His kiss lingered on my lips as we broke apart. He watched me carefully waiting for my reaction.

Just then, there was an announcement that the flight to New Jersey was now boarding. I had to go.

"Zack, I have to go," What was I doing? This was my chance and I'm blowing it off?

"Brooke, please-"

"If you really love me, you'll come and get me," I said running towards the gate.

I handed my ticket to the person who was going to check it and once she said that I was ready to go, I rushed inside the plane and found my seat with the stewardess's help.

I placed my bag in the overhead cabin before I took sat in the seat that was assigned to me in the empty plane. No one was in yet. I was the first one to board the plane. People started filing in after a few seconds but luckily, no one sat beside me. I slowly drifted off to sleep after a few seconds due to exhaustion and wanting to get away.

I couldn't believe that I was actually going to just run away from everything again. It all seems pretty redundant and none of it seemed right. I wasn't supposed to be here. I was supposed to be out there with Zack. I was supposed to kiss him back and get rid of all his doubts and we were supposed to be together no matter what. I wanted that, he wanted that. But I didn't let it happen that way.

It was senseless even for me. There was no reason for me to be heading back to New Jersey and yet here I was waiting for the pilot to take off and take me home. But I wasn't really going home. New Jersey just wasn't my home.

I watched scenes that happened today play again and again in my head. I tried to think about what might have happened if it all played out differently. Regret started to wash over me as I saw the brighter things in every situation that could have happened if I wasn't so stubborn enough to admit to everyone that I wanted to be with Zack.

I wanted to be with him. I loved him too much because it was hard not too. No matter how many times he hurt me, I still end up wanting to be with him because these rough patches would heal in time. I was told once by somebody that if you had a really strong bond with someone, one rough patch won't end your relationship. Zack and I have been through enough to know that we could still be with each other even if we did go through difficult times. We've learned to understand each other more and more due to the arguments we've had and we've learned to forgive each other.

But sometimes, I just get too stubborn. I don't tend to understand myself but this is just overly absurd.

I just hope everything will blow over once I get to New Jersey in two or three hours.


	35. Chapter 35

The intercom in the airplane woke me up. If I was being precise, I think it was about five in the morning in Canada. I couldn't tell what time it was in New Jersey though. I felt an arm wrapped around my waist. I was scared shitless. It might be like a middle aged man or maybe some creepy guy or something. I turned around slowly and looked at the person to my right.

Relief shot through me as I saw Zack's handsome face pressed against the airplane seat. He actually came after me.

"Zack?" I said trying to shake him awake. The stewardess was eyeing us from one point of the aisle. I could tell that she was eager to get us up and out of the plane so she could go home and rest or something.

Zack woke up after I tried to get out of his hold. His sleepy eyes fluttered open and sadness painted pictures on his face. I grabbed my bag in the overhead cabin once I unbuckled my seatbelt and got up. Zack followed suit and grabbed my hand before walking out of the airplane.

"Don't worry, Zack," I whispered up to him. "I'm not going anywhere," I said and watched us the trace of sadness from his eyes vanished. A small smile came upon his lips as we walked towards our bags to claim our baggage.

Zack didn't speak much while we were claiming our bags. He didn't speak a word to me when we hailed for a cab. It worried me a lot but maybe he wanted to be somewhere private. Some place where no one could hear us talking or something like that. Zack had always been thoughtful and that was one thing I've always loved about him.

I gave the driver my address and rode in silence as I watched the dark New Jersey streets pass us by.

We got into my house in a matter of minutes. Once we finished grabbing all our bags, I grabbed the keys to my house and unlocked it. I walked into the living room and dropped all of my bags on the floor. Everything looked the same. Nothing was touched meaning no one broke into the house.

The door shut and Zack came into view. He placed his bags on the hallway and made his way over to me.

"Zack, I'm sorry about everything too," I said thinking about the conversation we had in the airport. I looked down at the carpet and watched as he pushed some of the bags away just to get close to me.

"We should really start over you know," he said causing a smile to tug on my lips.

"I think I'd like that," I told him as he pulled me into a tight embrace. "I've missed you so much," I mumbled into his chest.

"I've missed you too but we don't have to keep missing each other anymore," he said and I pulled away a few inches to see what he had in mind. "Brooke, I have a place in Huntington, California and I would really love if you could come and move in with me." He said and I smiled wider. I hugged him tighter and took in the scent of him.

"I'd love to," I said pulling away and giving him a kiss. This was the way it was supposed to happen. This was hoe everything should have been in the first place.

But if things didn't happen like it did, maybe Zack wouldn't be here in my very living room kissing me. Maybe he would never have asked me to move in with him. Maybe I would end up living my life miserable and alone. I don't regret anything anymore because it led me here.

This moment was where it all happened for me. This was where I was truly happy. I had everything I could ever want in life. I didn't care if we were going to have some problems in the near future. All I do know is that I was going to be happy with him. And I wanted that. Fortunately for me, he did too.

He came and got me. Now, I'm locked under his spell and I know this will last for a very long time. Forever might be an understatement but I didn't care anymore. As long as I was with him, everything would turn out just fine.


End file.
